Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
First, I would ask who would be the one to report you, and who do you think would charge you with neglect? That sounds a bit crass, but it's not meant to be. Would it be family members? Neighbors?
I do understand your concern, as I deal with it myself fairly often. People who have no idea how to care for elders don't realize how difficult it is, and think that life should be a lot more smooth with a daughter or other family involved.
If you have hired care staff coming in, they could report neglect if they felt it existed. So could EMS, and even nosy, meddling neighbors.
I think though that the focus should be on keeping clean rather than bathing. Sponge baths, no rise shampoo and no rinse bathing are a lot easier on older folks.
I know you are trying to do your best for your father. When my father started to refuse bath it was because he had heart failure and he was dying. I didn't understand this and thought he was just being a grumpy old man.
Are you able to talk to his doctor and review his medical or mental condition? Maybe just use giant bath wipes for now or give him a sponge bath.
I know how I feel without a bath. When I brought my dad home from rehab after the stroke, I tried to give him at least two showers a week, sometimes more if he needed it.
Try to talk to him and see if there is a deeper reason.
Your doing your best I had to with my mom also. We switched to having a CNA give her a wipe down in her chair, she felt comfortable there, when CNA's missed days I gave her, her wipe downs there. She refused showers because she never felt comfortable. She had high CO2 so she would tell me she was going to report me all the time for lack of care even though I made all her meals, washed her clothing took her to all her appointments, She always threatened to do it, It wasn't her it was her disease I see that now that she has passed. Try and compromise maybe wash him down where he feels safe and comfortable it's all you can do to keep them clean we purchased dry shampoo Dove or Herbal Essence have some good ones find a wash he likes get a bathing bucket and some wash cloths. If you find things he likes scent wise you'll find he is more for it and if you do it where he is comfortable you will find he will be less frustrating. I wish you the best ! I have been there and done that and it's not an easy fight.
Thank you cdnreader and GardenArtist for responding to my question and for sharing your experiences and advice. I should have mentioned that my father has Alzheimers. He has made it known that he isn't about to let me or any one else bathe him, so I really like the idea of trying the giant bath wipes and the dry shampoo that he could use himself. When I make suggestions, he makes it quite clear to me at the top of his lungs for all to hear that no woman is going to tell him what to do. At your suggestion cdnreader I also placed a call to his doctor. Again, thank you both.
I agree with GardenArtist. Maybe see if a male aide could assist him? My husband helps my FIL bathe, and as good-natured as my FIL is, I can't imagine him letting me assist with his showers!
Also, I'm sorry that he's yelling at you. That's always tough. Remember, you're doing a wonderful thing by helping him!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do understand your concern, as I deal with it myself fairly often. People who have no idea how to care for elders don't realize how difficult it is, and think that life should be a lot more smooth with a daughter or other family involved.
If you have hired care staff coming in, they could report neglect if they felt it existed. So could EMS, and even nosy, meddling neighbors.
I think though that the focus should be on keeping clean rather than bathing. Sponge baths, no rise shampoo and no rinse bathing are a lot easier on older folks.
I know you are trying to do your best for your father. When my father started to refuse bath it was because he had heart failure and he was dying. I didn't understand this and thought he was just being a grumpy old man.
Are you able to talk to his doctor and review his medical or mental condition? Maybe just use giant bath wipes for now or give him a sponge bath.
I know how I feel without a bath. When I brought my dad home from rehab after the stroke, I tried to give him at least two showers a week, sometimes more if he needed it.
Try to talk to him and see if there is a deeper reason.
Is there a male in the family who could assist him with bathing or cleaning up? If the doctor orders a home health aide, it probably should be a man.
Also, I'm sorry that he's yelling at you. That's always tough. Remember, you're doing a wonderful thing by helping him!!