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I finally got my mother into what I thought was an exceptional nursing home, in October 2024. Everything was going fine until two weeks ago. I found out that my mother's aide had opened a window and turned on the air conditioner because she was hot. Until my mother's roommate's daughter contacted me, I was told she was the one who had done it. I have become the daughter's friend and found out the true story...even my mother said it was the not the daughter. I have tried for the past two weeks to set up and appointment with the unit nurse, but she is never available. Yes, I have come to the nurse's station (her office is right behind it). But again, she's never available. I don't want to go to the director again over a problem though serious as it is, but I will if I have to do so. When I found out, I immediately had my mother moved to another room. My mother has been so confused even though I told her multiple times that I was the one that requested her moving. Mom and the past roommate got along great. Now Mom is in a room with another female with severe dementia and Mom says all she does all day is sits on her bed, stares at her, picks her nose then eats it. I told Mom just don't look at her. I feel guilty because I had her moved, but at the time it was in my mother's best interests. The past roommate's daughter goes in every day during her lunch break and a few times in the evening. I can only get there every three days because of gas and availability of a vehicle nor do I want to do what I did last time she was in a rehab facility for rehab...there every day, all day because my mother didn't want me out of her sight. Now the second situation, went to see Mom today and she told me one of the men on the same floor, stripped down and was climbing into her bed. It was confirmed by the nurse's station...NO ONE INFORMED ME. I was told before I left that that resident would not be allowed that far down the hallway for the rest of tonight. That doesn't solve the problem from tomorrow on. I am calling the unit nurse again at 0700 hours to find out what is going on. Can anyone tell me if there is someone over the unit nurse I can talk to before going to the director? The website does not list a flowchart and the last time I called the social worker, she got rather hot with me. I told her I wasn't asking for representation just suggestions on what to do next. She was the one that said talk to the unit nurse.

Yes. You will discuss with the director. You will tell the director that you did all you were able to follow the chain of command. Time to start a diary. You will in future need a list of things in case an ombudsman needs to be called in. You will need times and dates you attempted to go into the chain of command and were failed.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I agree that you need to call the director and tell her/him how many times you attempted to contact the unit nurse (and give specifics like days and times) and left you no choice but to contact the director. Then make sure the director knows that if you don't get a response immediately you will then be forced to contact the ombudsman. I'm not sure about a social worker, unless your Mom is on Medicaid (my MIL is) but I'd go right to the Director now.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Contact the assigned Social Worker. My uncles SW act as the middleman to appropriately field questions.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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Absolutely go to the director again. Never hesitate to speak up for mom. Let the director know your concerns have been ignored, stay factual and free of emotions. The ombudsman is another option available if the director does not take appropriate action
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Every facility should have posted the phone number for the Ombudsman's office.
You can call the Ombudsman's office and make a complaint.
Your State probably has a Complaint Hotline as well.
Your State's Department of Public Health.
To file a complaint on possible sexual abuse contact the police and file a report.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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