Mom passed the day after we returned home to regroup. The day after her youngest grandchild's bday.
Now it's time for funeral arrangements, searching her home for insurance policy papers and if she left a will. But my oldest brother has changed the locks to the door and will not give us a key.
He plans to move his family in.
I am to the point of not having much family when this is all over 😭
Ex: my brother said he had the will on such * such date. No I couldn't look at it.
Im sorry I keep hijacking your thread. I apologize. I've just had so much happen to me bc of my sibling.
I also advise checking out the unclaimed property in your state in your mom's name. I found out my parents had a few thousand there. My sibling got that, and I never saw anything. But at least you can say these accts were there, I have the paperwork. Get a date on the print out if you can.
The problem is lack of communication and dislike of one another. Everyone should have known that death was eminent. The brother can’t just change the locks. You have to check in whose name the property is. If it is in your deceased parent’s name, the house has to go probate. If the house is in trust, the paperwork should be made available.
You need to get an arroyo help you.
Do you have other siblings who may pitch in.
Reading your post leaves so many questions.
Get a lawyer immediately.
Good luck.
If it’s particular possessions you want to inherit, let your parents know during their lifetime so they can either give it to you or plan their estate accordingly. If you don’t (or didn’t) let them know, then it must not have been that important to you in the first place. It wasn’t meant to be. If they don’t give you some specific thing, respect their wishes.
If you don’t want to bring it up during their lifetime because you are afraid you might sound grabby or predatory, you are probably right. People’s feelings are (or at least should be) more important than things and money.
if someone else in your family takes the brass lion that you wanted, enjoy the journey of finding one at your local antique mart. When it’s all said and done, you are an adult and you have been living your grown up life without that lace doily. You don’t really need it. If your sister “steals” the stamp collection, did you really want it on your coffee table anyway?
If you respond, “… but, it’s the ‘principle’,” —stop yourself— by definition, haven’t you really lost sight of all principles when you fight over “stuff?”
If it’s your parents’ money you want, work for it and earn it yourself instead. Get another job in the time you spend lamenting about money on this forum. The greatest gift our parents have given us is to teach us to work hard and be self sufficient. Your sibling can’t steal your own potential. When we earn it for ourself we also gain self respect.
At the end of the day the knick knacks and money we inherit are all left behind when we depart too. What a silly waste to spend our short time on earth focused on a bunch of discarded junk instead of having fun, enjoying life and being kind to others.
Lawyers are expensive, but if you think that your third of moms estate is a large amount, it may be worth it.
Have you and your other brother approached this brother to ask what he thinks he is doing? Tell him that if he doesn't have this conversation with you, the next conversation you have will be with a lawyer.
You think you know your family until massive challenges come up. Like a lot of commenters here, I suffered the entire time I was taking care of my father's medical issues and, by default, the **** house and yard. Now, we are planning the funeral and I shouldn't say "we" because they asked me to take care of the flowers, the mass readings, and the music. And I am doing it. Then we have the nightmare of probate and selling the house. Probate will most likely take a little less than a year to wrap up and in this market the house will sell quickly.
I have learned a lesson about myself. I throw myself into taking care of things and then hope for recognition. I am going to try to stop doing this.
The real property actually falls into the next of kin area, and that would be all the siblings. Said brother can buy the rest of you out if he wants the house.
I had a similar situation. The things in the house are going to be pilfered and plundered most likely. That part really sucks, if he has locked the home, the only thing that is really keeping you out is not having a good set of bolt cutters.
Don't get into a knock down drag out with what remains of the family. It will end most likely with either someone going to jail, or an restraining order from one to the others.