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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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DoingMyBest1, if your Mom is still able to understand that there are issues with her incontinence, you may have to do what my Mom did regarding Dad.
Dad refused to wear Depends, and he had his fair share of "accidents" which my Mom had to clean up... mind you, Mom was in her 90's.... eventually she got tired of doing all that difficult cleaning. So the next few times Dad had an accident, she would hand him the cleaning spray, the rag, and the brush. Before you knew it, Dad was wearing Depends :)
This is not early dementia, but later stage, as is the battle to keep them clean. Look at alzinfo.org for a breakdown of the 7 stages. Obviously you have been caring for a long time. At some point, you may want to hire aides and convert to all vinyl floors and furnishings OR you find a facility that has this. The facility will not let them out of bed without wearing depends. You can do this yourself, but for some reason, they are more willing to follow orders from a nurse.
Yes, it sounds like a more advance stage of dementia if she is bladder and bowel incontinent and refuses to wear undergarments, though, double incontinence did strike my cousin pretty quickly. (In less than a year.) However, she took to depends very easily.
I agree with Pamstegma about getting help with her and better floors, equipment to help, but I would also look into the adult onsies that button in the back and prevent the wearer from taking them off. Of course, you still have the challenge on getting them on her in the first place. I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe, others here have some experience with that. If her resistance is due to a delusion or anxiety, perhaps meds could help calm her mood. I would discuss it with her doctor.
Does your mom go out much? And are you able to reason with her? My mom did become bladder incontinent early and I was able to reason with her at the time. Mom went out a lot - was very social and I pointed out that it was a heck of a lot more embarrassing to have to leave a room with a giant wet spot on her backside and down her legs than wearing a depends that no one even realized she had on. I appealed to moms vanity and pride and it worked. If you aren't able to reason this type of point out with your mom, then yes - sorry to say the dementia is way past "early". If you haven't already, buy her a pack and leave it in her bathroom - that also worked with my mom. I guess she felt more in control if the timing of the decision to put one on was actually hers. Plus, I think it helped that mom could look at one and see that they weren't that bad looks wise. At least with the Depends brand they come in a light peach color and are really very trim - fitting nicely under most cloths.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dad refused to wear Depends, and he had his fair share of "accidents" which my Mom had to clean up... mind you, Mom was in her 90's.... eventually she got tired of doing all that difficult cleaning. So the next few times Dad had an accident, she would hand him the cleaning spray, the rag, and the brush. Before you knew it, Dad was wearing Depends :)
I agree with Pamstegma about getting help with her and better floors, equipment to help, but I would also look into the adult onsies that button in the back and prevent the wearer from taking them off. Of course, you still have the challenge on getting them on her in the first place. I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe, others here have some experience with that. If her resistance is due to a delusion or anxiety, perhaps meds could help calm her mood. I would discuss it with her doctor.