My daddy and my aunt lived together for 30 years. They moved together into a memory care unit when my daddy hit FAST stage 6b. My aunt had no memory problems. I called my daddy every evening. My aunt answered the phone for him, and did lots of things like nagging him to drink, eat the food on his plate, get up and walk, talk to me on the phone. My aunt just died of Covid. I've been in contact with the assisted living place to help get Daddy on the phone. But it seems he is sleeping most of the time. When I did get to talk to him, he sounded vague; like he didn't know who he was. I'm use to him believing I'm still at boarding school, and he is in a hotel (he was a yacht racing captain) This is new. The memory unit said it would be too difficult for me to arrange to talk to him every day. I can't go in because he has "asymptomatic Covid 19", blood oxygen 93. I worry he isn't going to eat or drink without being nagged and I understand why the staff can't do that. Any advice?
i am sorry for the loss of your aunt. Your dad was truly blessed to have such a loving sister by his side for so many years and his presence must have given her purpose.
I can appreciate your concern that his ability and desire to survive Is being diminished by her loss.
Life is so full of ironies when it comes to who lives and who dies and in what order.
I can’t imagine what his needs are now. Perhaps to sleep is what is needed to recover.
Here is an article on O2. It indicates treatment is a concern when less that 90.
https://www.health.state.mn.us/diseases/coronavirus/hcp/pulseoximetry.pdf
The staff can absolutely 'nag' him to eat and drink. In fact, they can literally feed him. They should be keeping records of how much he eats and drinks.
Maybe you could do something similar with the facility he is in. Best wishes to you.
He made sure his mother was taken out of one of these nursing home before he put the order in have positive patients sent to the LTC facilities. He would not have transferred positive patients to LTC nursing if he did have immunity from prosecution.
He had the javits center and the navy medical ship comfort available. yet he did not move these positive patients causing and, infecting of over 50,000 poor senior citizen to contract the virus, in assisted living homes which included my wife of 52 year of marriage she passed away because of his actions. I don't know how he can live with what he has done to all of us that lost love ones. Please reach out to your political leaders and let them know what and how you feel about his actions and inactions taken to our loved ones by governor Coumo
I was not able to see her before she passed away and was not able to have funeral service in a temple before she died suffering from this terrible virus This is devastating to me any my family. Please he has to answer for he has done to our families.
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Can you visit the memory unit through the window?
My concern would be how did COVID get in?
Communities should be testing all residents and staff regularly.
If you can avoid it, DON'T insist that your loved one go out to the ER. That's how a lot of cases get in.
Shared rooms are another issue. Communities that have lots of shared suites are proving to have lots of spread.
ML4444, call and ask if Dad is on oxygen at night. If not, why not? They can come in and check him during the night to see how low he goes. OSA is very common in the elderly.
If he isn't eating and drinking ask them why? Does he need help with self-feeding? Has he had stroke, so that he lacks the coordination or can't see where the food is on his plate? Is he having swallowing difficulty?
Dad is depressed. He lost his best friend and care-giver. He may be too tired to keep pushing himself. Send him cards and letters if he won't come to the phone, and call to make sure someone has read them to him. At least he will know you are there and that you love him. Ultimately, that is the most important thing you can do.
therapy? Most (all?) dementia patients won't keep oxygen mask or nasal cannula
on. There comes a time when the priorities of Safety, Comfort and Prayer become
the focus. I feel your pain and am wishing you the strength needed for this.
My dad, back when my mom died, saw the agony I went through being my mother's medical POA, (family fighting about what to do and taking their grief and anger out on me) decided that he would give medical POA to someone not in line to inherit.