Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Pack up her things and drop her off at the home of whoever has her POA. You're not the one responsible for your husband's grandmother if the two of you have split. She's no longer your family and responsibility. If you want to be her caregiver and choose to, then you need a contract in writing agreeing to whatever your demands for taking it on. In that contract, make sure it's clearly stipulated that the first time a payment is not made to you, granny gets dropped off at her POA's house.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

Well if I was Grandma... Old, demented, taken in by family, then dumped on someone... Well I would hope someone just bundled me up, dropped me off somewhere safe. Hospital or Police Station - Nurses may understand my needs better than Police.. ? Then a nursing home would do. Somewhere with a bed, a shower, hope of some hot meals.

Granny dump may be needed here...
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this situation. What a freaking nightmare!

I certainly understand why you are divorcing him! He is showing NO consideration for you.

Bring granny over to your sons house, or do you think he would walk out on your son too?

Why was she taken out of her nursing home to live with you? Was she in a nursing home close to your home? Did you agree to that or did he just bring her home?

What a sad situation for your children.

Who have you spoken to regarding her care?

Wishing you all the best in this horribly stressful and dangerous situation!

What is stopping you from calling APS?

How old is she? How old are your children?
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Can I really bring her to the hospital and leave her there? I was told I would be charged with abandonment.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Beatty Dec 2020
Who by?
Call APS to check this?
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Offer to have a caregiver contract drawn up, with payments for every dang thing! I bet he wont want to pay that bill!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Tmadonna1 Dec 2020
He is going to jail soon and doesn’t care.
(4)
Report
Where are her children?Because they r the people who should make sure she is cared for. Either in their homes or placing her somewhere. I would contact them and tell them that someone needs to take over you have no authority and cannot be responsible for her. If they say, no, then tell them u will be calling APS and allowing them to take over her care. At that time, you will give them their phone numbers so they can be contacted.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Tmadonna1 Dec 2020
She has 1 son who claims he can’t take her and I don’t have his address to drop her off. She is intolerable and everyone knows it. I already told him I was calling APS and he doesn’t care! He claims he has nowhere to bring her because he is living with my son for now.
(2)
Report
If this is a recent split with your husband, there is still some shaking down to sort out what is going to happen. Most guys walk out to a flat with the sound system and the car, not with their grandma!

Clearly things can’t remain like this, but it may depend on the finances. Have you been renting yourselves, or is the house in joint names, or does it actually belong to grandma? If you could give more details, we could make more realistic suggestions. Are you still in contact with your husband, or has he gone AWOL completely? This may turn out to be one for the lawyers and the APS, but there really ought to be room for some rational discussion first.

You have my total sympathy for an impossible situation.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Tmadonna1 Dec 2020
I am no longer in contact with him and have changed my number. My adult son relays messages and he doesn’t care about me calling APS. I own my own home, although this is a community property state, has no relevance regarding him leaving her here. He should have taken her with him wherever he went. She has been with us for 2yrs and was taken out of the nursing home. They have not gotten along and yelled at each other for the last 2 yrs. She makes our lives miserable and is impossible to live with. She begs for cigarettes from strangers on the corner and has been brought back home by them. My kids and myself don’t even want to come home. She has dementia and picks up butts from off the ground. She knocks on the neighbors door and asks children for cigarettes and nothing helps. She has lung disease and should not be smoking. She doesn’t want to bathe, or even get dressed. I’m afraid for her being here when I’m at work, he was here in the day time with her. I have called everyone and don’t know what to do.
(5)
Report
See 2 more replies
Deliver Mom to his new home, wherever that is. If he has moved out of State or out of City you may be down to the ER dump, which is having Emergency Services transport Grandmother to a hospital, leaving the name and number of next of kin, and telling Social Services on your way out that you cannot accept her back into your home, and cannot care for her either physically nor mentally (even if that home is jointly held with yourself and husband). I would let him know that you will be forced to do this if conditions remain as they are. Give him a month to make arrangements.
What is the physical and mental condition of the grandmother. Have you or has he been the primary caregiver, and for how long?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
BurntCaregiver Dec 2020
I wouldn't even give him a month. Give him 24 hours to come and pick her up. If he doesn't then you bring her to the ER and ask for a Social Admit.
(8)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter