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Oh my, this is a horrible situation, I'm so sorry.

Your wife is needs to appreciate you more, in the fact that she isn't working, and be more greatfull to you. I don't want to say anything to cause you to decide either way, but your wife sounds like she is so mentally deep into solving all of her mother's issues, she can't see what she is doing to her family, and that's what's more important, because you mil is not going to be around for ever, and your wife needs to have a life, this is not good for her health either, really not good if this is going to mean lifting and 24 hours care for her mom.

But then on the other hand there is the issue of not speaking English.

I would say your wife is most likely very burnt out and this is not good, most likely she doesn't know it

So I would suggest you sit her down, have a talk with her, about her, not you, not your feelings about her and how bad this is for her, also how much worse it will be without you. Figure out othere options, and try to get your wife to go to counseling get some support and go to marriage counseling, if you chose to stay.

This is a very difficult situation and issues, hope that was helpful
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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You are trying to present a very complex issue in overly simplified back and white terms - Instead of going nuclear maybe try some marriage counselling and/or a trial separation, that may be all the wake up call your wife needs.
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Reply to cwillie
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