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Imho, you are not being selfish as you were a STELLAR caregiver. May God bless you.
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The guilt is overwhelming at first - and in the first few weeks of transferring him to a new place that he didn't understand were magnified when he spoke to you on the phone. I went through the same thing with my mother-in-law. ALZ is so difficult on the caregiver because at times they seem to know exactly what they are doing and saying and you think there must be a misdiagnosis. She has since passed away, and with more and more information being available now versus fourteen years ago helps me get over the guilt, but it has been difficult. I have to forgive myself every day because I know I didn't bring on the disease, and I realize it wasn't her saying those things when at the time I blamed myself for doing everything wrong.
Looking back, however, I KNOW that putting her in a place with people that could care for her and understand the day to day was the very best thing we could have done and once the first few weeks were over and she settled in, she did very well.
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