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I'm sorry life can be a u know what sometimes. With God u and the family can make it. I sorely, believe if u can contact a therapist, nutritionist and get exercise and that me time u will be fine. mom needs it as well. Maybe if she had her own place or house she could stay there and have someone come in to assist her.
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plz don't listen to the hype. its you mom/parents. no one should ever feel that badly to say its not ur responsibility. how sad. i do agree u do your very best. u don't throw someone away just so someone can baby sit and watch u waste away. bc that's exactly what happens. no ones taking care of u like that. there just taking your money and fill u up with meds or barely looking after u. stop it! look to God for help and he will.
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Late chiming in, but:

1) You have done nothing wrong, so drop the guilt!
2) It is NOT normal for moms to fight with their kids
3) "...she said she didn’t care about my mental state."

The last item is the MOST important - she DOESN'T care. Although she specified your mental state, it shows in everything you've written. She.Doesn't.Care.

Do what you have to and move on. You are NOT responsible for her happiness, and although she has medical issues, she should be quite capable of taking care of dishes, joining others at the table for dining, etc. She's been spoiled by being catered to (or was spoiled well before all this!)

Elder abuse? Yes, you are close to being elder AND you are being abused.

75 years old? That, today, is nothing. My mother lived alone and took care of herself and her condo until her early 90s, when dementia stepped in. If not for the dementia, she could have stayed longer. I have physical limitations, and avoid tasks that might aggravate it, but I am not far behind your mother in age. I take care of myself, the cats under my care, my house, my cars, I even plow my own driveway! I have a neighbor who is closer to your mother's age - she's been on her roof making repairs! She burns wood, and splits what she purchases.

Your mother need to be left in the place you found for her, and you move on. NO guilt. No second guessing. Don't listen to the crap she's selling. You are NOT throwing away your mother, SHE is throwing away her own physical self AND alienating her kids!!!
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