Mom and I were watching TV. I asked Mom 46 degrees is cold isn't it because it was going to be 46 degrees tonight. She said no that's not cold. I said yes it is. I told her you are telling me 46 degrees is not cold she said no it isn't. She stays cold all the time. I said that doesn't make sense. She said why do I make such a big deal out of things. I said I don't get it she said just drop it. She asked me why it was such a big deal. I said because we are having a conversation and it just doesn't make sense. She screamed just drop it. I left in the dark and went home. Is she getting dementia or just can't hear
People who have lived in a colder part of the US might think 46 degrees is warm. What's the big deal?? During the winter months in Massachusetts, I usually don't like my thermostat above 62degrees. When I am outside during the winter I don't think 46 degrees is cold. I feel your communication style with your mother is more than harsh.
Just so you know people in this forum are not qualified to diagnose dementia or hearing loss.
If you are worried, ask her to have a hearing test. She would need to see a neurologist for cognitive testing for dementia. Sometimes they order brain sans to look for volume loss or changes in specific areas. I think you may be over thinking this. Not every elder gets dementia.
I wish you and your mother the best.
Maybe your mom was thinking that 46 degrees isn’t freezing. Or, how bitterly cold it is in other places.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not worth getting upset over.
If other things are happening, and they happen regularly, then you can address the issue.
I agree that you were making a big deal about it and should have dropped it!
This interaction doesn't give any indication of dementia.
Have you tried perhaps just placing a small electric heater that she can just keep on her whether in her chair, bed or at the table?
And of course like I had to do with my late husband, he wore a sweatshirt hoodie, and either sweatpants or flannel pajama pants all year round, along with extra blankets on him as he too was cold all the time, and the fact that I live in NC where it gets pretty hot in the spring/summer, I wasn't going to have to sweat in my own home.
There are other solutions than turning ones heat up to keep warm, like putting on layers of clothing and extra blankets. Have you tried that with your mother yet?
I remember when I lived in WI, and it got up to 50 degrees in the early spring how many people I saw running around in shorts because people were so tired of the long and yes very cold winter, and they finally had hope that warmer temps were coming, so they(prematurely perhaps)put on their shorts.
So this actually boils down to ones perspective and has absolutely nothing to do with your mom having any kind of dementia.
So next time you don't agree with your mom, just agree to disagree, and quit making a mountain out of a mole hill. It's really not worth it.
Next time I would just switch channels and find something more interesting to watch.
In this case, it appears that you are watching T.V. and are instead making conversation that your Mother asked you to drop. Instead, you are disagreeing with her answer, you are judging her, telling her that she does not make sense.
Some people do not want to talk while watching T.V.
You could have avoided a disagreement if at this point you just stopped talking: "I asked Mom 46 degrees is cold isn't it because it was going to be 46 degrees tonight. She said no that's not cold."
Mom is entitled to her opinion?
Below 50F (10C) is cold
A different chart had:
20F (-6C) is cold
40F (4C) is cool
50F (10C) is mild
Another listed:
40F (4C) cold
50F (10C) pretty cold
60F (15C) cool
Is a label on a temperature fact or opinion?
Can you agree to disagree?
Make sure she gets her annual Medicare wellness exam, and inform the doctor beforehand by sending a note that mom has these symptoms.
There is no point in repeating things or arguing with her. Maybe you should consider not spending so much time in her company if it frustrates you. Also, get ready. It will get worse.