He just up and decided to bring her to our house to take care of her (without my permission and without discussing anything with me). She can’t walk, she has to be bathed and changed, and her meals have to be prepared. Most rest homes have refused her because of her terrible bad behavior toward the staff. I have expressed to him about the way I feel. He has ignored my feelings. I will not be helping him take care of her, because of how she has treated me.
Your no was not respected.
I would take that seriously.
I would schedule marriage counselling asap. It can really help to have a third party to help each of you to have your say & be heard.
In the meantime, ask him to move out. He can look after his Mother if he wishes in his own space.
Im assuming you two have been together long enough for long term marriage statutes to apply in a community state. In which case he can finance your living elsewhere while you work out what’s to be done with the house and with provisions that your half aren’t to be drained for mommy.
Be prepared when that time comes (and you know it will) by making a list of in-home care providers (aides to bathe her, somebody to cook for her or meals on wheels if he won't cook for her, etc.)that he can call to care for her and hand it to him when he asks. If you can go to another part of the house where she isn't, all the better. She doesn't sound like a nice person to be around.
He made this decision alone, he can handle it alone.