Follow
Share

My husband was in bed today and he came to the door and asked me to get him a cigar. Not to light but just to chew on !!!!!! Could he be going downhill that fast since July 28

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
As strange as this sounds to those unfamiliar with cigar smokers, "chewing" on the end of an unlit cigar is a common practice! It's comforting to have the cigar in his mouth, there's no smoke and he gets the benefit of the nicotine "rush" just like people who use chewing tobacco do (like many baseball players). I'm not advocating this, just explaining. I've seen this done quite a bit by former or even current cigar smokers. Believe me, he won't devour the entire cigar!
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Tara, what is the significance of a cigar to your husband ? Was he a heavy cigar smoker? Does he want to feel like a younger man again? Is it in any way connected with going to the lawyer? Is it an anxiety reducer for him?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Cattgoodness: Please add some pauses.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I find Mom is "out of it" first thing in the morning and at night when she is tired. Not sure how asking for a cigar means he is fast going down hill, especially if he smoked them at one time. Does he mean chewing like eating it or just to have it in his mouth to "chew" on it. You know like between teeth.
People with dementia/Alzheimers don't have much to look forward to. So, if the want to smoke or eat something unhealthy, OK with me.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hello Cattgoodness;

First, My Father was a Cigar Chewer! When he would obtain a New Cigar, he would lite it up and smoke it! But, when it got down to about 2+" he would hold it between his teeth and chew on it for HOURS! No, he didn't eat it, but really enjoyed chewing and holding it between his teeth! He died of "Old Age"!
My Wonderful wife of 82 is in Her Last Leg or Phase of Alzheimer's! She has had early symptoms of Alzheimers since 2004 and then I thought were just symptoms of becoming a Senior! It took 10 years before the really difficult and Ugly Stages of Alzheimers started to show up! Early in her 11 year she seemed to go off the deep end about every two days. Her memory, stability & strength deteriorated by 70% per Her Doctor in about 4 Months! Now, they tell me maybe between now and May 2016 I will lose her. In this last phase she gets extremely angry and demanding and asks for things I can't give her and some things I try to give her! No, she hasn't asked to smoke cigars yet? But, she asks to talk to folks that have been gone for 40+ years and I can't fill that request. She also carries a burden now concerning my being her 100% Care Giver and wants the Police to take her to a Care Center! I'm 75 and in pretty good shape and can lift her when she falls out of Her Wheel Chair, which is often! I'm now building a strap to hold her into the chair! I guess if she asked to smoke a Lady type small cigar I would probably give her one and keep a close eye on her! Hey, I give her all types of Treats along with Very Healthy Meals and I feel in this Last Stage of Her Life if she has something in her "To do Bucket List" I'm going to give it to HER! I just hope that in this last phase I can give Her back all the Love she has shown me throughout these Wonderful Years as My Loving Partner! So, just keep an eye on him and sometimes I just put things off and see if She will forget some Request--or--Demand like calling the Police!
God Bless
Jimmycandoc
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Better to chew on the cigar than smoke in bed. I don't think one odd request is necessarily proof of rapid decline.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

When my husband goes downhill, he forgets how long ago his father died. He thinks it was 6 months, not 40 years. What specifically worries you?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Real I think your doing a great job I am only 65 and am soul care giver and gauidian of my husband unlike your wife its all physical disabity he lost hafe his body you might say and can't talk I'm glade he has excepted my doing all his business and medical decisions so far I will admit me at first had me worried as I had been told he might be hard to deal with and dangerous but he has great understanding and I explained if he did not I would have no choose but put him back in a safe nursing home I an he like you want to share our days together long or short I don't believe anyone should be in a nursing home when they have a loved one to care for them with or with out help we bond with our partner in more then just a physical but spirit and mind your wife is much better off with you share your memoirs share your dreams speaking of dreams tell her that is where she will see those long lost friend my daughter husband is her guardian and I am very happy he not only bonded with her on paper but for life she is in her 30 somes and has amuity defaut in short her body shuts down arms leg eyes voice and she will never have a child he has her and she has him I am very pleased with them she has always been my happy helpful girl and even now while sick she trys to make me smile my husband and I did not tell anyone he was getting his scull replaced and his water on brain drained the day he went to his room she went in to er for not being able to breath I didn't know well she didn't tell us either I was sitting on the bed in the hospital when I heard a faint ma and there she was on her walker with her iv turns out he was in room 621 and she +622 like a little family reunion God dose strange thing he didn't seem to want any one to be alone in there worry's I was very torn to have to bring my husband home and leave her I only have two daughters and she is the close one if she has a upset I can feel it and her the same it a laugh se times we show up at things wearing lsame color or she will order same dinner now there's a bond Well its a good thing she has you and keep your freedom for as long as you can I know we will even if its only to sit on our deck and feed the birds or hear the bees I like your can-do I was born on the Seabee base and I tell my husband he has to get a can-do mind for get what he can't do and do what he can
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I just lost my father 4 weeks ago. He was 92 with dementia. In May, we were going to physical therapy (exercise) once a week. When June came, he started to decline and did so rapidly. The only thing he wanted to eat the last couple of weeks was ice cream and that is what he got. I let him have whatever he wanted and whenever he wanted it. I was his soul caregiver and I wanted him to be happy as long as he could. It certainly wasn't going to damage his health!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Tobacco use is an addiction. The chewing is a clear need to have the tobacco. Be glad that this person is not demanding to smoke the cigar, especially if there is oxygen in the room. As for "going down hill,' there are many other predictors for deciding if that is actually happening.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter