My mom has dementia and my dad has lost his memory. There was a problem with their bank account yesterday and I couldn't call for them because I'm not on their account. My mom can no longer leave their condo with 3 sets of steps to get in and out. Attorney says they both have to come in to the office and I know my mom would have to be there to sign the cards necessary to add met their account. I've waited too long to have these things in place. Where do I go from here? I have a sister that lives close but she won't even stop in and see them, let alone go to them when I beg her to help. It's always NO.
I love 45 min from my folks and go there often. They do want me to POA. My sons girlfriend works in the nursing home business, in the marketing field. Her very good friend is a social worker in the same town as my parents. We have it set up for both of them to come to my parents this Friday. Her friend has all the paperwork and is a notary. Also very experienced. We will be able to get the paperwork signed, notarized and witnessed. That's a huge weight off my chest!! I know they are both able to do this with a sound mind as it is their wish. Thank you all for coming to my aid once again!!
Best of luck
Your situation is not uncommon.
Have an attorney observe the situation and advise from there.
Conservator seems to be the only option.
Question what your attorney said before taking your mom out. Contact an elder law attorney or contact your area or state attorney bar association
Best wishes
That's first aid for banks, utility companies, anyone else who can only deal with their customer or his nominated representative.
Can your father attend the office to create a POA for you? That would be better than nothing.
Otherwise you're looking at guardianship.
Obviously there is a bigger picture with your sister, and she can't be relied upon at all. Can you visit your parents to get a clear assessment of all their needs? Once you are there you can easily install wifi cameras so you can monitor your parents from your cell phone. It seems that neither is competent and in dire need of home care, begin taking steps to set this up ASAP. Finding home care you feel comfortable with will relieve some of the pressure on you. Just take one step at a time, starting with the guidance of a better attorney than the one you have.
We are here for you to vent, cry, or get advice. You can do this!
Another example: when my sister was in respiratory failure, I contacted another attorney for whom I had worked, and who I respected and trusted a great deal. She came to the hospital, had the dox prepared and came back either the next or following day.
Good attorneys will make house calls in dire situations.
CJLC, this could have been done earlier, but we never knew when things will happen to spur action. Dementia can be sneaky. I think the larger issue is not whether someone will come to the house, but whether your parents are cognizant enough to understand what they might be executing.
Geaton's first paragraph addresses this issue and identifies a defining line of being qualified or not to execute documents. This would be your first step, if you have access to medical records or can call your parents' physicians (I went with my father to all of his appointments and medical staff knew me. I honestly don't even recall if I provided conformed copies of authorizations).
Start with your parents' doctors to determine if diagnoses have been made.
Find another attorney.
So you will have to go for guardianship. Speak to an Elder Lawyer about putting this process in action.
Good luck, it is always so hard when people will not talk about things when they can and then become incapable and the job gets harder.
There are many horror stories about guardianship. See "How the Elderly Lose Their Rights" in the New Yorker magazine, or the fictional "I Care a Lot" on Netflix .
Your only other legal pathway is to pursue guardianship through the courts. It is expensive and time consuming but will give you the authority to manage all their affairs (and in your case it would be x 2, so not sure this is even financially do-able unless they have the funds to cover the expense).
With no PoA or family guardian, the count will need to become their guardian since the law requires there be a legal authority for each person. I'm going to send you a PM (private message) so please check for it on your Profile page.