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Mother has grown quite incontinent and despite having a supra pubic catheter placed, she still "leaks". She wears a pad, but doesn't change it often. It IS a hassle, I know. Also, she cleans out one catheter bag and doesn't get all the urine out. Then she hangs it up in the bathroom, with maybe a tablespoon or more of stale urine in it. She leaves the soaked pads in the bathroom also. She's had a couple of "overflows" on the carpeted areas, on her bed, though she does have a waterproof sheet, and also on her recliner. She just gets more and more of those "automatic" spray room fresheners in all different scents! They go off every 15 minutes to cover the smell, but upon walking into her apartment, you just get slammed with the stale urine smell.
I've cleaned the bathroom and carpet and recliner, but the smell just seems to seep into everything. Brother, whose home her apartment is in, refuses to replace the flooring with hardwood, so she has mostly carpet.
The smell is just gaggy. I've used pet cleaners, vinegar, organic cleaners and they all work for a few days, but then the smell comes back. Mother refuses to open windows, even on the nicest days. When I clean, I open them all and ignore her.
I'm sure her clothing now is all "soaked" to a point as well. She does her own laundry and is always immaculately groomed, but she smells, too.
She is aware of the smell, hence the room fresheners, but the root cause may be the incompletely emptied catheter bags combined with wet pads. She doesn't take her own trash out and the only thing I have ever said to her is "Mom, one of your room fresheners just spritzed me in the face."
I'm embarrassed for her, and the other siblings don't visit, so maybe this is just something I have to deal with? Oh, she also has 2 cocktails in the kitchen, adding their own special brand of funk and feathers. Gag. And occasionally, one of my brother's dogs will escape into mother's place and pee on the carpet and when I clean it, the water is sludgy black and thick. And holy moly does it stink!!

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You already tried everything I was going to suggest. I don't have it quite as bad but I have found that the pet urine removers work pretty well when you know exactly where the urine is (like a chair). I have probably had the most luck with Nature's Miracle. I did have one particularly bad spill on a sofa that took several months of treatments.

I also put about a quarter cup of vinegar in with her laundry when it is stinky.

Have you tried leaving uncovered bowls of vinegar around? I did that when I bought a smoker's house and it helped get that smell out.

Also, we now put a pee pad down before Mom sits anywhere even though she wears depends. That has saved us many times.
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I agree that the first thing is to talk to your brother, but i totally understand your comment that "It's a slippery slope, talking to my brother. He is frustrated with mother, but also VERY sensitive to anything approaching criticism of his care of her. " All those responding, can you suggest to MIDkid58 how to do this???
THere were 4 siblings in my family, and although we all got along, words between us must have been careful words. Im not good at words so during our monthly conference calls , i kept quiet. BUT i had second medical POA, so i took my dad to ALL appts.
I immediately emailed all siblings with the results and conversations. Its only fair. YOU and YOUR BROTHER both love her, but i see that one issue is your brother is sensitive. Any POA feels this.. So all the advice is good, but MidKid58 needs help with the wording of how to talk to her brother.SHowing she thinks he is"doing a good job, but is there anyway I can help with mom that helps you."...eventually as he trusts and believes in you, he may take suggestions from you. You have to win his confidence that you love your mom too, and that you think he's doing a good job too and aren't planning to take his authority away..you just want to help him. SO can anyone think of words that will help her with her brother...to me that's the issue i am seeing needs to be addressed.....until then, she will have to try those temporary suggestions.....HELP her with how to open up to her brother in a caring way where he feels safe with his sister's suggestions....
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Oh my....it sounds like there are quite a few issues going on with your mom. Is her doctor aware of what's going on with her catheter? Is it malfunctioning or is not able to properly handle it? I'd be concerned that she is not able to properly handle her hygiene anymore. Have you noticed other decline? I wouldn't let the air freshners distract you. My LO bought them by the case and had as many as 12 in one room at one time, but, she was developing dementia and later it was quite evident that is what was going on. I'd have her evaluated by her doctor to rule out infections or other causes and figure out how you can get her help. It may be that she needs more supervision or she may need an aid to help her with it.

I'd also be concerned with her being able to properly care for any pets. You can't tolerate unsanitary conditions for yourself and your pets if things are just fine cognitively, imo. Are you the Durable POA, Healthcare POA, etc.? I'd see what could be done to help her at this point.

And regarding the smell, if things are going to continue, then the smell would just continue as well, no matter how well you clean it.   It may need a professional cleaning.  Maybe, others will have some pointers on that. I'd be more concerned with the reasons for the smell. 
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Having a UTI definitely adds to the odor factor. It is often extremely difficult for our elders to get rid of a UTI...even with RX medication. Sorry, I don't have all the answers, but it appears that you are doing absolutely everything possible and doing it well. This is a tough situation. With my clients, I used to wipe down their mattress top almost every day, using a cleaning cloth saturated with white vinegar. That made a big difference, but neither of them had a UTI at the time. One change that would help - though not 100% - would be to entirely get rid of the artificial air fresheners. Those things are extremely toxic to humans, too. Then introduce the essential oils in the diffusers (you'll probably need more than one diffuser, one for each room might be good). I'll be thinking about you and your family and sending you all pink light, which is love. Love can heal many things. Hugs!
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Removing the carpeting is a sure bet. But, expensive pre-varnished hardwood and snap together laminate floorings still have space between boards for urine to drain into. Your brother might be more willing if you also suggest sheet vinyl flooring, a much less expensive option. Sheet vinyl cleans easily and does not retain any odor. Do a search to see the many options in sheet vinyl. I put sheet vinyl in my own mother's apartment. I also replaced her couch and chair with futons. I covered the futon mattress with a moisture proof mattress pad and have washable futon covers. These replacements have made cleaning up after my mom, and her elderly tomcat quite simple. FYI: the new "Slide" cat litter is an excellent product.
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I would recommend the sheet vinyl flooring as well. I'm planning to install it in moms room soon w/outdoor rubber carpets on top to reduce the risk of slip & falls. As to the speaking with brother, in my experience it's always a win if things can be the other persons idea. I am the youngest & female so I get the dumb girl attitude. We'll this dumb girl gets much accomplished in cooperation by leading them to the solution. Start by just praising SILs clean home & wondering how moms area could be cleaner. Go about what your doing but keep asking for ideas like "you have none". I have all legal control paperwork wise but it's a lot easier if everyone feels heard. I don't mind playing the games for peace. Hope that helps.
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I would also look into a professional cleaning service, one that does after fire type cleaning. And not to promote anything here, but one of my friends started selling "essential oils", and brought a defuser over, and used it in my very large, smoke filled home for an hour or two. I swear it was even noticible in my bedroom .. Yes I bought one!! You can get them on Amazon much cheaper, and it worked here for the smoking my mom does!
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Midkid, yes time to get new carpeting, especially since what comes out is dark and gross. Could be a sign of mold building up under the carpet and into the carpet padding, that might shake your brother's thinking and make him quickly redo that flooring. He doesn't need to put in anything expensive, cheap wood looking products are around, make sure it has a poly coating for easy cleanup.

My late parents house had "that smell" so anything taken out of the house would have "that smell". I have Dad's old books and after 6 months they still smell the same as when I brought them home. Even the bookcases I kept smell, no matter how much I clean them.  Hmmm, since wood needs moisture every now and then, I will experiment using body lotion :)

It's amazing how certain smells will transfer to the wood forever. I have an vintage wooden clothes closet piece of furniture that a good friend sold to me. She was a heavy smoker, and 20 years later the furniture still smells of smoke.
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Get rid of the carpet! Have it replaced with either tile or an engineered wood. You will never get rid of the smell and besides it is very unsanitary.
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Just one short comment, I would not replace carpeting with hardwood or engineered wood or even not with laminate. The best flooring that will be easiest to clean and look the nicest under the circumstances is sheet vinyl flooring and it comes in many beautiful colors and designs. You can get some that looks like tile or hardwood. Hardwood will be damaged by urine and is costly to refinish. Liquid will also damage engineered wood and laminate when it seeps into the cracks. Tile is too hard and the grout will let liquid seep in and it's hard to keep the grout clean. Vinyl is your best bet AND the least expensive. Good luck!
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