Mother has grown quite incontinent and despite having a supra pubic catheter placed, she still "leaks". She wears a pad, but doesn't change it often. It IS a hassle, I know. Also, she cleans out one catheter bag and doesn't get all the urine out. Then she hangs it up in the bathroom, with maybe a tablespoon or more of stale urine in it. She leaves the soaked pads in the bathroom also. She's had a couple of "overflows" on the carpeted areas, on her bed, though she does have a waterproof sheet, and also on her recliner. She just gets more and more of those "automatic" spray room fresheners in all different scents! They go off every 15 minutes to cover the smell, but upon walking into her apartment, you just get slammed with the stale urine smell.
I've cleaned the bathroom and carpet and recliner, but the smell just seems to seep into everything. Brother, whose home her apartment is in, refuses to replace the flooring with hardwood, so she has mostly carpet.
The smell is just gaggy. I've used pet cleaners, vinegar, organic cleaners and they all work for a few days, but then the smell comes back. Mother refuses to open windows, even on the nicest days. When I clean, I open them all and ignore her.
I'm sure her clothing now is all "soaked" to a point as well. She does her own laundry and is always immaculately groomed, but she smells, too.
She is aware of the smell, hence the room fresheners, but the root cause may be the incompletely emptied catheter bags combined with wet pads. She doesn't take her own trash out and the only thing I have ever said to her is "Mom, one of your room fresheners just spritzed me in the face."
I'm embarrassed for her, and the other siblings don't visit, so maybe this is just something I have to deal with? Oh, she also has 2 cocktails in the kitchen, adding their own special brand of funk and feathers. Gag. And occasionally, one of my brother's dogs will escape into mother's place and pee on the carpet and when I clean it, the water is sludgy black and thick. And holy moly does it stink!!
I also put about a quarter cup of vinegar in with her laundry when it is stinky.
Have you tried leaving uncovered bowls of vinegar around? I did that when I bought a smoker's house and it helped get that smell out.
Also, we now put a pee pad down before Mom sits anywhere even though she wears depends. That has saved us many times.
THere were 4 siblings in my family, and although we all got along, words between us must have been careful words. Im not good at words so during our monthly conference calls , i kept quiet. BUT i had second medical POA, so i took my dad to ALL appts.
I immediately emailed all siblings with the results and conversations. Its only fair. YOU and YOUR BROTHER both love her, but i see that one issue is your brother is sensitive. Any POA feels this.. So all the advice is good, but MidKid58 needs help with the wording of how to talk to her brother.SHowing she thinks he is"doing a good job, but is there anyway I can help with mom that helps you."...eventually as he trusts and believes in you, he may take suggestions from you. You have to win his confidence that you love your mom too, and that you think he's doing a good job too and aren't planning to take his authority away..you just want to help him. SO can anyone think of words that will help her with her brother...to me that's the issue i am seeing needs to be addressed.....until then, she will have to try those temporary suggestions.....HELP her with how to open up to her brother in a caring way where he feels safe with his sister's suggestions....
I'd also be concerned with her being able to properly care for any pets. You can't tolerate unsanitary conditions for yourself and your pets if things are just fine cognitively, imo. Are you the Durable POA, Healthcare POA, etc.? I'd see what could be done to help her at this point.
And regarding the smell, if things are going to continue, then the smell would just continue as well, no matter how well you clean it. It may need a professional cleaning. Maybe, others will have some pointers on that. I'd be more concerned with the reasons for the smell.
My late parents house had "that smell" so anything taken out of the house would have "that smell". I have Dad's old books and after 6 months they still smell the same as when I brought them home. Even the bookcases I kept smell, no matter how much I clean them. Hmmm, since wood needs moisture every now and then, I will experiment using body lotion :)
It's amazing how certain smells will transfer to the wood forever. I have an vintage wooden clothes closet piece of furniture that a good friend sold to me. She was a heavy smoker, and 20 years later the furniture still smells of smoke.
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