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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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When these young people have ageing parents of their own, they may look back and realise what you were going through.
Right now, how could they possibly understand what it's like?
There is a brilliant Joyce Grenfell monologue (mistake to think she was all light comedy - she described the human condition in all its forms) of a woman on the 'phone to her date, calling him to cancel because she can't leave her dad. If you can find that, and other things like it, you might make them think.
But rather as with having a baby, and as Dorianne says, you have to have done it to know how it feels.
Donna, I agree with the above answers. I used to notice people in their forties/fifties etc. out in the middle of the day with what I assumed were their elderly parents. My first thought, and it was a negative one I'll admit, was maybe they were lowlifes sponging off Mom and Dad. But now since I've gone through the caregiving experience I realize that I should have been thinking "but for the grace of God, there go I" cause fast forward a few years and that person was me.
I think like most things in life, you can't say I know how you feel until you've felt it. Thus why your co-workers don't and couldn't understand. They can try to imagine how it would be but probably have no idea and won't until they someday experience it themselves. Plus some people, not many but the odd few sail through the caregiving experience without a care in the world. Ya gotta envy those ones.
I am sorry to hear how your co-workers lack of understanding is hurting you. I know we all wish everyone would have more compassion and sensitivity, but sometimes it is harder with younger colleagues. Its not their fault they just haven't been through the same experiences. I think it would be futile to help them understand.
Best to focus on yourself and your loved one. I find being a caregiver is tough enough without trying to make others understand. I tried with my own family but it only made me more angry and resentful when they thought I was being over sensitive and demanding. In hindsight, I should have just let it go and focused on my father's care. I needed to look for support elsewhere. Please take care of yourself. Thinking of you.
My one co-worker gets impatient with some mistakes I've been making on the job. Some of them have been due to just different styles of getting things done, and a few have been honest errors, albeit stupid ones, that I truly should have known better than to make, and likely would not have made, if not for being distracted by my (personal) caregiving responsibilities as well. I am also a professional caregiver of sorts, as I work with troubled youths in residential settings. I strongly believe that most of this is due to burnout, as self-care has never been a strength of mine. Thanks to all of you for your answers and your support. Happy Holidays.
Ah. That does put a slightly different complexion on it :)
Given the nature of your work, then, it's not unreasonable to expect your co-workers to have a broader understanding of family dynamics than normal. And if they haven't, maybe this could be a good learning opportunity for them. An insight into stress factors they perhaps haven't considered before would do them no harm at all professionally.
How are things in general between you and this one especially impatient person? Is he or she the sort you could sit down with over coffee?
When you go to work, you're supposed to leave your home-life behind and concentrate on work.
Not really sure why you feel they have to understand? Even given your profession - I was 'taught' that the workplace is not the place to air your home laundry.
You can apologize for your errors and say that you are stressed but working at it - but you cannot make someone understand or be sympathetic.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't think anyone really understands it until they've experienced it anyway.
When these young people have ageing parents of their own, they may look back and realise what you were going through.
Right now, how could they possibly understand what it's like?
There is a brilliant Joyce Grenfell monologue (mistake to think she was all light comedy - she described the human condition in all its forms) of a woman on the 'phone to her date, calling him to cancel because she can't leave her dad. If you can find that, and other things like it, you might make them think.
But rather as with having a baby, and as Dorianne says, you have to have done it to know how it feels.
I think like most things in life, you can't say I know how you feel until you've felt it. Thus why your co-workers don't and couldn't understand. They can try to imagine how it would be but probably have no idea and won't until they someday experience it themselves. Plus some people, not many but the odd few sail through the caregiving experience without a care in the world. Ya gotta envy those ones.
I am sorry to hear how your co-workers lack of understanding is hurting you. I know we all wish everyone would have more compassion and sensitivity, but sometimes it is harder with younger colleagues. Its not their fault they just haven't been through the same experiences. I think it would be futile to help them understand.
Best to focus on yourself and your loved one. I find being a caregiver is tough enough without trying to make others understand. I tried with my own family but it only made me more angry and resentful when they thought I was being over sensitive and demanding. In hindsight, I should have just let it go and focused on my father's care. I needed to look for support elsewhere. Please take care of yourself. Thinking of you.
Given the nature of your work, then, it's not unreasonable to expect your co-workers to have a broader understanding of family dynamics than normal. And if they haven't, maybe this could be a good learning opportunity for them. An insight into stress factors they perhaps haven't considered before would do them no harm at all professionally.
How are things in general between you and this one especially impatient person? Is he or she the sort you could sit down with over coffee?
When you go to work, you're supposed to leave your home-life behind and concentrate on work.
Not really sure why you feel they have to understand? Even given your profession - I was 'taught' that the workplace is not the place to air your home laundry.
You can apologize for your errors and say that you are stressed but working at it - but you cannot make someone understand or be sympathetic.