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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Sweetie, first a great big hug. Grandmothees are special people and I know you miss her terribly. Try to remember, by holding her hand when she passed, she left the world knowing you loved her with your whole heart. Not everyone is that lucky. Second, even though she is not physically here anymore, she will always be in your heart and memories. Third, you can talk to her anytime, any place you want. All you have to do is think of her and tell her what you are thinking. Stay quiet and she will answer you. Cry when you need to cry. You will find you willbe able to go longer and longer without the gut wrenching feeling of loss. When the sadness feels like its overwhelming, think of something fun you did with her. Or something silly that happened where the two of you laughed until you could hardly stand up. It will help you.
You will grieve for a long time. Part of you is gone, but part of her remains with you. You can hear all the “she is in a better place, she is out of pain” and all the other thing people say but none of that helps, it still HURTS! Keep her with you, talk about her. Tell the funny stories. Remember all that she taught you. I Volunteer with a Veterans group. Several times a year we set up a Field of Honor. One of the things we do is read every name of every soldier that is represented by a flag. The idea behind that is a soldier dies twice: once when he takes his last breath; and again when he is forgotten. It is the same for our Loved ones. The best way to keep them with us is to keep them alive in our hearts and minds. I am sorry for your loss and heartbreak. If great grandma was on Hospice they will have a Bereavement Support group. Or I am sure your local house of Worship can direct you to a group. (((hugs)))
I am so sorry for your loss. Grandmothers are so special! I adored mine. My children just lost their grandmother and took it hard. Mom died in April. Mom loved my children dearly and they returned love to her. It was lovely to see. My mom will be missed just like my grandmother is missed, but I take comfort knowing that they are at peace and reunited with loved ones.
The relationship between grandmothers and grandchildren is quite different from parents and children. My grandmother ALWAYS had cookies for us! She taught me how to make the dishes that I ate at her home every Sunday. She made the very best dessert and coffee. Mom was a wonderful cook because she learned from my grandma.
My grandma was such a delight to be around. I can still see her smile and hear her laugh. We liked so many of the same things in life. She appreciated the little things, just like I do. I learned a lot from her.
I am sure that you have a ton of memories from your grandmother. I believe that is what they would want us to focus on, the good times that we shared with them, the lessons that we learned and to pass those on.
Your grandmother is gone now, but her spirit will always live in your heart. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but it teaches us that we can live with hurt. The hurt will fade and not be as intense.
Some consider it a privilege to be there at the end of someone’s life. Some can’t bear to see someone they love slip away. I am not sure that I could have handled seeing my grandmother die.
I am sure that you were a great comfort to your grandmother at the end. I don’t know if you planned on being with her as she was dying, or if it was a sudden death, either way, it’s hard. My grandmother died just as she wanted to, no long suffering in a hospital or nursing home. She hadn’t been ill. She dropped dead suddenly, her heart just stopped beating. I am grateful that she lived a relatively long life, 85 years old. My mom lived to be 95!
Remember your grandmother’s love and wisdom. Know that she loved you.
I just started this. I am only 3 weeks from my mom's passing. I didn't get to see her last breath. Perhaps it was the best for me because it might have been more painful. I wanted to take time off from work so I could be next to her but she left that week. It's hard for all of us to go through this.
My sister passed away almost 5 years and now I feel more accepting her passing. It really takes time.
You know I got some very good advice from my supervisor at work. He said you have to now do things for yourself. Try something new. Do it alone or with someone. Something you've never done before. As I was listening to what he was saying, it just made me realize how true it is. This is not going to separate you from your loved one but it will help you heal and continue living with less pain and stress.
Like I said I am just starting this and it is very hard. My mom and I were very very close and we went everywhere. To the stores, run errands, everything that the house needing keeping. I have 4 other brothers and someone she would always have breakfast, lunch and dinner right next to me.
Just hold on and do things for yourself and you will come out winning.
Hello I just lost my mom as well. It was a tough year with broken hip etc but ultimately she passed unexpected and sudden within a few days. Went in hospital never came out. It’s so hard. I don’t know it’s hit me yet. It’s been about 6 weeks. I’m trying to find purpose and some new direction. It’s hard. I took care of her everyday now it’s silent. It’s weird. Not sure what to do. I work, have great husband and kids but very empty. I thinking finding something a hobby or interest will help. I’m also going to counseling. My condolences. Hope you can find some peace.
Grieving takes as long as it takes - and 3 months isn't all that long. Don't suppress your grief, that will just bury and and come back and last even longer. If the grief is paralyzing you and keeping you from doing daily activities such as work, you may want to seek professional help.
I adored my grandmothers - my father's mother we lost way to early, when I was seven or eight - she lived in another state and I still remember fondly the summers my brother and I spent with her and the cousins 2 weeks of the summers. My mom's mother was 97 and I was 37 when she died - she had been demented for several years and to see the decline of this vibrant, independent and curious woman produced grief long before she died. They were both very special women in different ways and I still miss them both.
Remember them and share memories of them with friends and family. Store up those memories in your heart so when you think of her, you will have those beautiful memories to lean on.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grieving is very individual to us; we all grieve so differently. For myself, with the loss of my brother, who was my rock all of my life, I felt some relief that he would not have to suffer; I didn't have to worry and fear for him any more. I still feel his presence with me. One thing that has helped me, given that when we didn't live in the same city we always wrote long letters to one another, is to keep a notebook in which I write him, decorating it with memories, things I learned from him, quotes I find, drawings and collage, pictures of him. It is a great help to me . As Joan Didion said after the loss of her husband (The year of Magical Thinking is her book about grief) "I could not count the times during the average day when something would come up that I needed to tell him. This impulse did not end with his death. What ended was the possibility of a response". I would also recommend C. S Lewis's book A Grief Observed, about the loss of his wife. Indulge yourself; feel all your feelings; but do know that your grandmother would be the last, I suspect, to want you to mourn her with despair.
3 months is not a very long to grieve someone you love. You will grieve her for quite some time yet, but hopefully in time it will get a little easier. I lost my husband of 26 years 8 months ago, and I'm still in the grieving process. Most days I now do pretty well, but all it takes is a memory or a picture, or talking about him to someone, and I'm crying again. And I'm ok with that. He deserves to be mourned, just like your great-grandmother does, so give yourself some grace and time. It will get better. It might help you if you seek out some grief counseling. I know most if not all cities have Grief Share meetings for those mourning the loss of a loved one. They've been meeting on Zoom during Covid, but I believe some are starting to meet in person again. I pray for God's comfort and peace to be with you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
I suggest getting the book "Healing After Loss," by Martha Hickman. You read just one page a day, and it takes you through an entire year. I have numerous friends who have found it to be very helpful to work through grief in small, manageable bites.
Just keep in mind that your great-grandmother has been part of your life for your entire life, and that influence and love for that person cannot be easily set aside in a matter of months. She'll eventually find a spot in your mind and heart where you will remember and cherish her at your will.
I found a great deal of help on the Calm.com app. They have a free seven day trial if you wanted to try it out before buying, I have an annual subscription which is well worth it to me. There is a special section for coping with grief and I do those meditations often, sometimes daily. That has helped me a lot. Also to try to remember that everything is a season, the terrible loss you are feeling now will slowly pass. Best wishes to you.
I am very sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Sometimes we hold our grandparents in higher esteem than our own parents. I'm sure your g'ma felt the comfort of your hand in her final hours.
Grief from the loss of your g'ma is a validation of your love for her. It is inescapable and normal emotion that we all will experience. Getting to the other side of grief requires more than the passage of time, it is something you have to work thru. Grief is more than sadness and sorrow, it can affect you physically, socially, and behaviorally. It can cause you to lose focus and have difficulty in concentrating. So it's an emotion you have to overcome. But 3 months isn't enough time to resolve your grief. Grief takes it's own course, but you can shorten that time by purposeful action.
Go to YouTube and search for “overcoming grief”. There are many books on grief, check with your local library. You may always feel the emptiness in your life of her absence, but eventually you should be able to accept her death and resume living your life. That doesn't mean forgetting your g'ma, you'll never do that, but realizing that death is the normal course of life, and forever being grateful for her presence in your life.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Second, even though she is not physically here anymore, she will always be in your heart and memories.
Third, you can talk to her anytime, any place you want. All you have to do is think of her and tell her what you are thinking. Stay quiet and she will answer you. Cry when you need to cry. You will find you willbe able to go longer and longer without the gut wrenching feeling of loss. When the sadness feels like its overwhelming, think of something fun you did with her. Or something silly that happened where the two of you laughed until you could hardly stand up. It will help you.
Part of you is gone, but part of her remains with you.
You can hear all the “she is in a better place, she is out of pain” and all the other thing people say but none of that helps, it still HURTS!
Keep her with you, talk about her. Tell the funny stories. Remember all that she taught you.
I Volunteer with a Veterans group. Several times a year we set up a Field of Honor. One of the things we do is read every name of every soldier that is represented by a flag. The idea behind that is a soldier dies twice: once when he takes his last breath; and again when he is forgotten.
It is the same for our Loved ones. The best way to keep them with us is to keep them alive in our hearts and minds.
I am sorry for your loss and heartbreak.
If great grandma was on Hospice they will have a Bereavement Support group. Or I am sure your local house of Worship can direct you to a group.
(((hugs)))
The relationship between grandmothers and grandchildren is quite different from parents and children. My grandmother ALWAYS had cookies for us! She taught me how to make the dishes that I ate at her home every Sunday. She made the very best dessert and coffee. Mom was a wonderful cook because she learned from my grandma.
My grandma was such a delight to be around. I can still see her smile and hear her laugh. We liked so many of the same things in life. She appreciated the little things, just like I do. I learned a lot from her.
I am sure that you have a ton of memories from your grandmother. I believe that is what they would want us to focus on, the good times that we shared with them, the lessons that we learned and to pass those on.
Your grandmother is gone now, but her spirit will always live in your heart. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but it teaches us that we can live with hurt. The hurt will fade and not be as intense.
Some consider it a privilege to be there at the end of someone’s life. Some can’t bear to see someone they love slip away. I am not sure that I could have handled seeing my grandmother die.
I am sure that you were a great comfort to your grandmother at the end. I don’t know if you planned on being with her as she was dying, or if it was a sudden death, either way, it’s hard. My grandmother died just as she wanted to, no long suffering in a hospital or nursing home. She hadn’t been ill. She dropped dead suddenly, her heart just stopped beating. I am grateful that she lived a relatively long life, 85 years old. My mom lived to be 95!
Remember your grandmother’s love and wisdom. Know that she loved you.
I just started this. I am only 3 weeks from my mom's passing. I didn't get to see her last breath.
Perhaps it was the best for me because it might have been more painful.
I wanted to take time off from work so I could be next to her but she left that week. It's hard for all of us to go through this.
My sister passed away almost 5 years and now I feel more accepting her passing. It really takes time.
You know I got some very good advice from my supervisor at work.
He said you have to now do things for yourself. Try something new. Do it alone or with someone. Something you've never done before. As I was listening to what he was saying, it just made me realize how true it is. This is not going to separate you from your loved one but it will help you heal and continue living with less pain and stress.
Like I said I am just starting this and it is very hard. My mom and I were very very close and we went everywhere. To the stores, run errands, everything that the house needing keeping. I have 4 other brothers and someone she would always have breakfast, lunch and dinner right next to me.
Just hold on and do things for yourself and you will come out winning.
Let me know how things are going for you.
Jorge
I adored my grandmothers - my father's mother we lost way to early, when I was seven or eight - she lived in another state and I still remember fondly the summers my brother and I spent with her and the cousins 2 weeks of the summers. My mom's mother was 97 and I was 37 when she died - she had been demented for several years and to see the decline of this vibrant, independent and curious woman produced grief long before she died. They were both very special women in different ways and I still miss them both.
Remember them and share memories of them with friends and family. Store up those memories in your heart so when you think of her, you will have those beautiful memories to lean on.
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband of 26 years 8 months ago, and I'm still in the grieving process. Most days I now do pretty well, but all it takes is a memory or a picture, or talking about him to someone, and I'm crying again. And I'm ok with that. He deserves to be mourned, just like your great-grandmother does, so give yourself some grace and time. It will get better.
It might help you if you seek out some grief counseling. I know most if not all cities have Grief Share meetings for those mourning the loss of a loved one. They've been meeting on Zoom during Covid, but I believe some are starting to meet in person again.
I pray for God's comfort and peace to be with you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
Just keep in mind that your great-grandmother has been part of your life for your entire life, and that influence and love for that person cannot be easily set aside in a matter of months. She'll eventually find a spot in your mind and heart where you will remember and cherish her at your will.
Grief from the loss of your g'ma is a validation of your love for her. It is inescapable and normal emotion that we all will experience. Getting to the other side of grief requires more than the passage of time, it is something you have to work thru. Grief is more than sadness and sorrow, it can affect you physically, socially, and behaviorally. It can cause you to lose focus and have difficulty in concentrating. So it's an emotion you have to overcome. But 3 months isn't enough time to resolve your grief. Grief takes it's own course, but you can shorten that time by purposeful action.
Go to YouTube and search for “overcoming grief”. There are many books on grief, check with your local library. You may always feel the emptiness in your life of her absence, but eventually you should be able to accept her death and resume living your life. That doesn't mean forgetting your g'ma, you'll never do that, but realizing that death is the normal course of life, and forever being grateful for her presence in your life.
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