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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Have you notified the director of nursing or the facility doctor about her crying and self harm? Those behaviors can be controlled. Do not move her to another facility that won't change the situation. And for Pete's sake, don't bring her to your home! Her behavior is not unusual and can be modified with proper meds.
When you say she cries and wants out, is it only you she says this to? Have you discussed this with the staff? There are many instances where a LO will be like your mother when on the phone or visiting, but when friends and family are not there, they are participating in activities and not upset in the least! Some are actually even having a good time! I have read posts from others who on arrival saw their LO enjoying themselves, but as soon as they became aware that the person was there, Sad Sack appeared! This is where talking with staff will help you determine the course of action needed.
If the staff agrees that she seems agitated, upset or depressed all the time, then some medical intervention might be needed. They actually gave our mother a VERY mild dose of anti-anxiety during that transition period and I was never witness to any of her complaints.
Were you able to visit at all during the early days of her move? Was she like this then? Were you able to observe the "goings on" at that time (being restricted means we can't observe to know if she's like this all the time or if she seems well enough adjusted when you aren't there or if staff is doing/not doing their job.)
If you are confident in the ability of staff and they can confirm she is okay when you are not there or on the phone, I would not move her. You have to become adept at changing the subject, redirect her focus onto something that she likes. If they say she has intermittent issues, perhaps it can wait and be observed for a while longer. It does sometimes take a long time for them to adjust. 4 months isn't that long. If she is truly unhappy but it isn't the facility or staff, she may require some medication to calm her down a bit until she can adjust.
One thing they had recommended to me was to stay away for 2 weeks. I also told my brothers that I would not be joining them for the move itself. I prepped everything else that needed to be done, but figured I would get the blame whether I went or not, so why go? It did seem to work in our case - she has NEVER asked me to take her home. Anytime my YB was there, she hounded him about taking her back to her condo. Interestingly she did forget about the condo after about 9 months and would ask about the home prior to that, over 25 years before! She's into year 4 now, and I haven't heard her mention the condo or that other house in a long time now. I can tell from other statements and questions that in her mind it is about 40 years ago. Her mother (and perhaps father) as well as one sister are "alive" for her - I just have to wing it if she asks about them and hope I answer correctly or vaguely enough to satisfy what she is asking/thinking and move on to another topic!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If the staff agrees that she seems agitated, upset or depressed all the time, then some medical intervention might be needed. They actually gave our mother a VERY mild dose of anti-anxiety during that transition period and I was never witness to any of her complaints.
Were you able to visit at all during the early days of her move? Was she like this then? Were you able to observe the "goings on" at that time (being restricted means we can't observe to know if she's like this all the time or if she seems well enough adjusted when you aren't there or if staff is doing/not doing their job.)
If you are confident in the ability of staff and they can confirm she is okay when you are not there or on the phone, I would not move her. You have to become adept at changing the subject, redirect her focus onto something that she likes. If they say she has intermittent issues, perhaps it can wait and be observed for a while longer. It does sometimes take a long time for them to adjust. 4 months isn't that long. If she is truly unhappy but it isn't the facility or staff, she may require some medication to calm her down a bit until she can adjust.
One thing they had recommended to me was to stay away for 2 weeks. I also told my brothers that I would not be joining them for the move itself. I prepped everything else that needed to be done, but figured I would get the blame whether I went or not, so why go? It did seem to work in our case - she has NEVER asked me to take her home. Anytime my YB was there, she hounded him about taking her back to her condo. Interestingly she did forget about the condo after about 9 months and would ask about the home prior to that, over 25 years before! She's into year 4 now, and I haven't heard her mention the condo or that other house in a long time now. I can tell from other statements and questions that in her mind it is about 40 years ago. Her mother (and perhaps father) as well as one sister are "alive" for her - I just have to wing it if she asks about them and hope I answer correctly or vaguely enough to satisfy what she is asking/thinking and move on to another topic!
Agree. Ask staff.