My mother lives alone, about 2 hours away from my wife and I. She has been involved in an Alzheimers research study and has been diagnosed with early onset dementia at 62 years old. The neuropsychiatrist at the research center recommended a driving test, which my mother passed, and for me to file for POA, medical surrogate, living will, and last will.. all done. I have oversight of her finances, investments, retirement, and banking accounts. She is financially stable, comfortable at home, yet the disease is progressing rapidly.. While she is still somewhat cogent, I am trying to get her to move closer to me. Sometimes she agrees, and sometimes she gets belligerent.. How do you get a loved one to move closer, have a family relationship, move into a socially active 55+ community (with onsite Alzheimers trained caregivers), and be seen by a full time neurologist? I feel like I may have to physically put her in the car and move her, which will have negative, possibly violent, consequences. But, is it for the best? The alternative is that she becomes more reclusive and withdrawn until the disease takes over completely.. She has already alienated herself from 90% of the people she knows and has limited human contact.
At what point do you say, "this is it, I'm coming to get you, no more excuses" ..
Professional caregivers would be a great help to bring into your Mom's current home, but I have a feeling maybe your Mom would refuse to let them into the house. Sigh, my Mom was like that.
It's hard for an elder to learn a new area. That means new doctors, new dentist, new hairdresser, new stores, etc. It would make your life a bit easier with your Mom in the same community so that you can visit, but elders can be very stubborn and will fight to keep their independence.