After 3 years being married, we moved my in-laws plus their dog in. We took care of them more than 4 years (she was bed ridden) and he used a walker. It was a very stressful, depressing time and the people I once knew weren't the same anymore. I had a lot of talks with my father in-law about "after life". He was very anxious about it and I started to feel as he did. Now he is gone, (died two years ago) and I still have all the thoughts he had 0n a daily base. It feels like he passed them on to me.
I remind myself how many years I might have left, what I haven't done, what I should have done etc.
Before I became a caretaker, I considered myself as a happy person, and like most of us, I rarely thought about passing. Am I the only one who has experienced something like this?
Having mother who since I remember was dying of every possible disease known to man (and still healthy at 80 plus)I was often full of anxiety and thinking of death.
I had to learn how to live fully. I chose to live real life.
In the meantime perhaps starting gratitude journal for every day. Small things or bigger plans for future. I plan and look up all the places I want to travel to or make a list of books I want to read this month, nothing better like getting involved in life.
There are different forms of PTSD and there is also Stress and Anxiety.
These can effect anyone
One of the "self screening" that I found lists 17 different questions to answer. These are a few.:
Repeated, disturbing memories, thoughts or images?
Repeated, disturbing dreams?
Suddenly feeling as if the stressful experience was happening again?
Feeling upset when something reminds you of the experience?
Physical reactions, heart pounding, trouble breathing?
And it goes on.
Talking to a bereavement counselor might help. A therapist might help.
being a caregiver is not an easy task and we expect a lot of ourselves. Often to the detriment of our own health. And that is physical health as well as emotional, mental health.
Discuss with your doctor the thoughts, feelings you are having. For 2 reasons. If you need a referral for a therapist your doctor should give you one. And the stress that you are going through effects your health and the doctor needs to know what you are going through.
Don’t worry about the after-life. If you are a good Christian, imagine going to be with God. If you have doubts about that, you won’t be able to worry when you reach peace. You will be part of the Universe, just in a different way. Love, Margaret