He was signing up for multiple accounts of the same kind of service. He's complaining that I'm shutting him out from the world and taking away his dignity. I understand why he feels this way and don't blame him one bit. He can't drive and is alone all day. Struggles with walking and talking. I want to allow him access to the computer again but need to know how I can prevent any purchases. He still has one debit card that draws from the account his pension goes into. Is there an app or privacy setting that will block making online purchases?
Someone else may know of more about the computer. I did a search for what you're looking for with your computer; those answerers say the same thing: take the card/s.
I envision he's buying things you don't need but he likes to feel empowered by being able to buy things. I get that from his perspective, but you have to protect your family finances at the same time (and I'm sure not have "stuff" around neither of you need).
Do you have another financial account that you can move money to in order to limit the amount his debit card can purchase? This way he can buy what he wants yet it's all limited by the amount of money left in the account since this is a debit card.
Is he open to a volunteer or paid sitter to keep him mentally stimulated? Does he have friends who can sit with him, or better yet take him out for coffee? Does he have a hobby or desire a hobby that can keep him occupied rather than sitting on the computer?
On another note, HE needs to come up with solutions for his time and energy. It's not up to you to come up with answers. Best wishes to you, Granny.
2) As rep-payee for my husband, he gets Amazon cards to spend online.
But he is not opening new accounts online...yet...I hope.
It is the biggest challenge to preserve someone's dignity when there is cognitive decline, but I still try. If he became a financial liability then I would need to take legal measures to protect him and my finances also. When he did empty the checking account (just once), I made a big deal. He NEVER wants to go through that again.
Another option might be to locate forums that interest him and encourage him to get involved...woodworking, cars, or similar topics.
He wants and needs social interaction; if you can create it for him in a safe environment that might alleviate his need to spend.
But that raises another issue, the age related need to feel good through spending, or giving. Does he have any favorite charities? You could work with him to donate on a monthly basis, so he retains some sense of financial worth in reaching out to others.
You wrote that he struggles with walking and talking. Is he able to interact with people, such as at Senior Center luncheons or activities? If you can think of a group in which he could become involved, it would help alleviate the isolation, which I think is probably the driving factor in addition to the need to justify one's own self worth through buying things (there's an Economic theory which addresses that but I can't remember it right now.)
I had to get the credit card company on the phone, with my husband sitting there to allow me to speak to them.
One does not need the actual card to use it online, just the numbers.
Granny, your husband is using his own debit card, tied to his pension account.
You need to become POA for that account.
I cannot block my husband because he is the tech savvy person in our home.
And Rep-Payee for any Social Security funds he receives. Rep-payee will by law give you control of those funds, not allowing him access to the funds, but the funds must be used for his use only. Applies only to SS funds.
If you put a "Security Freeze" on husband's credit profile, new accounts opened in his name will become too hard for him to navigate, and there will be notifications sent.
However, this issue must be solved in part by your husband's cooperation.
I said all this, but know that your issue (this time) is "opening multiple accounts", using the same payment card, which is his debit card.
Report his card as stolen, then retrieve it when it comes in the mail.
Do this only if some legal authority has been given to you. See a lawyer.
It is because his illnesses have caused a significant cognitive issue, rendering him unable to make wise financial decisions for your future and his own.
I looked this up:
"Two-factor authentication adds a second level of authentication to an account log-in. When you have to enter only your username and one password, that's considered a single-factor authentication. 2FA requires the user to have two out of three types of credentials before being able to access an account."
I was wondering how your husband remembers his passwords for the multiple accounts he is opening?
Do you have access to passwords?
Do you have access to your husband's pension account?
I cleaned up Mum's computer after step dad died, he had made a mess of it. A year later she has had to replace the computer.
There are a number of good apps used to filter the internet for public libraries, schools, businesses and concerned parents, although many of the business apps have a hefty price point. Different apps are stronger in different areas, so let me know what you would ideally be interest in and I will recommend a couple meeting your needs.
Personally, I believe the best way to get a hold on spending is using a debit card like chime where spending money is deposited on a schedule and transactions can be reviewed in real time. I haven't personally used a debit card directly linked to a income stream account in over 20 years; ever since my business travel amex got hit with bogus charges twice in 3 months. I always use a debit card with no automatic "backup" transfers or a credit card with a low spending limit for internet purchases.
After gaining guardianship of my father, I restricted spending to the debit card and left his internet access unfiltered.
The easiest way to do this is to block the debit card. Either by cancelling the card or contacting the bank to see if they can put a e-commerce block on it. If they can put a block on it, the debit card cannot be used for anything online but can still be used in the physical world.
Set it so it requires a password to enable purchases and don’t give him the password.
I have my iPhone set up that way in “Apple Pay” in the phone settings so I don’t accidentally order something
I had to do that on our tv cable account as well, because mom was ordering shows accidentally.
Sorry,
charlotte
If he's relying on account information that is saved in the browser, it might.
There is no way to categorically block purchases from being made when there is an internet connection available and a card to use.
As for blocking actual purchases, that's more complicated as software usually blocks access to known sites, while more sites (both reputable and not so much) come online every day and the google is happy to present them as options.
Wishing you luck!
I do not allow my own computer to "save" my information from my savings/credit accounts.
You can also put a "child lock" on your computer. Google it to find one, I can't remember what they are called. They are free and will not allow your DH to purchase items online.
Truly there is no way to stop him entirely without freezing his credit and taking the cards. There are two issues here: charging existing accounts and opening new credit. Imagine he is doing this with old fashioned phone calls. Same problem.
There are no blockers for any computer, phone, or tablet that will always prevent new credit from being opened, particularly if the site is shady. There are software solutions for payments, but they ultimately rely on either some particular payment method or security and standards of the site you are using.
Short answer: take the cards (and bank accounts), freeze the credit. A front loaded Visa with a small balance could give him some dignity and still let him feel in charge.
Several months ago, right after I had lost my beloved aunt, I had a call from a supposed local sheriff, that I nearly fell for. He told me that I had not shown up for 2 jury duties and that I needed to pay fines for missing these. He even stated that they had sent the jury duty documents to my address (which he stated and apparently knew it was my former address of a year ago). Whether he also knew I was going through a time of grief and was more vulnerable, I don’t know. He tried to keep me on the phone, and would not allow me to call anyone—even when I stated that I needed to talk with a lawyer or my husband, to see what I should do in this matter. I kept saying, “This just doesn’t seem right!” Of course, it wasn’t. It was a scam. So if a somewhat intelligent female can nearly fall for a scheme (thankfully I didn’t and I eventually hung up on the caller), then it’s for sure that a vulnerable person could give away all sorts of information and money!
I do like that idea of “a front loaded Visa with a small balance” to give him dignity and still let him feel in charge. I think we may need to do this for an elderly uncle who keeps complaining that he needs to go to the bank since he has no money in his pocket. We will have to check first with the memory care facility to see what they allow.
A credit monitoring service like the free Credit Karma should enable you to see if your husband’s SSN has been used in an attempt to open new accounts.
You shouldn’t take everything away from him. My sister gave her kids who were away at college a credit card that she fed money into at regular intervals. I assume you do the budget for the household and can figure out where to find some money to give him, even if it’s just for simple things.
Prior to that, he had been running up $300 or more in fees on overdrafts on his debit card.
The special card worked for awhile until he got really bad (but was still mobile enough to go to stores and restaurants). Then, I switched him to cash only and doled it out in small doses, three times a week.
it took 3 hours of my time sending off various documents, will, POA for mom etc to get PayPal to freeze account.. I had not seen any suspicious activity because he had used Visa card and PayPal for balance.. I got him an amazon fire tablet and put parental controls on it, he could go on Facebook use the internet, play games and listen to his music
Personally I would, as others said they would, ditch the debit card. I have one, but only rarely use it to take cash out of an ATM and NEVER use it for purchases. If compromised, it can wipe out the entire account! I use mine so rarely that the one time recently when I did need some cash, it declined several times before I realized it had expired MONTHS before! Credit cards can be compromised, but generally you are protected with them. Set up any/all alerts that you can on all accounts! Better to get annoying texts than having all monies lost! You don't want to see his pension money disappear. There are many options for replacing it - gift cards, refillable cards, credit card with a VERY low limit, etc. (if credit, make sure they don't automatically raise limits, either when needed or after a given time when all is good. Mom's limit was up to some ridiculous amount - I was able, with DPOA, to get them to reduce it before eventually freezing it and then closing it - she won't be using CCs anytime soon!)
Signing up for rep payee for his SS is advisable as well - call/contact your local office, not the main 800 number (unless you enjoy being on hold!) Despite the fact that one can "use" the funds without doing this, legally the SS says you can't and you should get rep payee. Biggest problem I had was getting the CU to set up the right account needed. Even the yearly reporting is easy and can be done online now.
While internet blocking is useful, it is likely never going to protect anyone 100%. Since it is now free to do it, freeze his credit at all three credit bureaus. This will prevent anyone opening new credit in his name, even him. If he attempts to sign up for something and it requires credit or SS, his gift cards won't likely work, the refillable cards should be kept to bare minimum, and SS won't help as credit is frozen (if he has any dementia, understand that long term memories stick around, so he isn't likely to forget his SS #!)