Because of a couple of very unusual, not just age related memory problems, that have happened in the past couple of days, I intend talking to my PCP next week. Maybe get a referral to a specialist and some testing.
The incident that worries me the most was checking out at the super market. I had packed one bag and put it in my cart, then the cashier handed me the other bag. I took it and looked around, asked the cashier what happened to my cart. She came from behind her counter to help me look for it. When I next looked at her, she had a strange expression on her face. I then looked down and noticed I had my hand on the handle of the cart with one bag in it. I honestly did not realize it was there. Then today; talking to a contractor to get some work done on my house, I gave him my telephone number to get back when he can do it. After hanging up, I realized I gave him the wrong number. Had to go online to find what my own number is.
I am currently the sole caretaker for my wife, who is suffering with dementia. That's why I hesitate telling the family of my suspicions, utile verified. Don't want to hit the kids (baby boomers) with a double whammy, thinking there are now two of us to care for, if it's not necessary.
So... should I tell the kids now, or wait to get a professional opinion.
Thanks for your responsiveness to our suggestions. Looks like they are divided one way and another so you are still left to think what works best for YOU. Please keep us in the loop. We will be thinking of you and pulling for you. You are quite a guy!
As everyone agrees, it is so very hard to look after two people, your dear Wife and yourself too.
*R U OK?* (are you ok?)
This is a catch phrase health awareness program where I live.
We can ask ourselves too - are we ok? I think the idea is to seek help earlier rather than later.
I think it is great you found a site to express yourself.
If you arrange a health checkup, consider booking a decent amount of time. So you are not rushed. To allow time for the usual blood pressure, bloods, chat about diet & sleep quality plus check in on stress levels.
Caregiver stress IS real.
Maybe what you reported is part of normal aging & you will continue to care for your wife at home for a long while yet. Or maybe the shape of a new plan will start to emerge. If so, you can bring the kids in to support you & your wife make any changes you need to.
Wishing you all the best.
I am just now waiting for my PCP office to open at 0830, to get his input. Already selected a neurologist, from the list of those who are in my insurance network - if that's what is needed. As to the "normal aging process" - I'm well into it at 89, have been experiencing the normal memory problems for a few years. You know, like forgetting where I put things or walking into a room and asking myself, "what was it I came in here for" - caught myself a few times, about to put the milk in the cabinet and the caned goods in the fridge. Have never forgotten where I parked the car though, or been lost going anywhere. It was just those two episodes I mentioned, that have me concerned.
Thanks again for the response - all the best to you
There is an aid who comes to the house three days a week for a couple of hours each day,. She allows me time for appointments, shopping and walking the dogs - something I miss doing on a daily basis.
My wife and I have been married for almost 70 years - Dec. 1953 - I have been planning to care for her as long as needed, now just thinking I may not be able to, has me breaking down intro a blubbering old fool. That is mainly why I couldn't share my feeling with anyone in person.
Anyhow, thanks again for all of the advice, it is greatly appreciated.
Let me tell you a cautionary tale.
My uncle developed dementia. My aunt said that she was going to do this care herself.
He started to wander. She tried to prevent that.
To make a long story short, my cousin (their "kid" showed up as a surprise one day while on a business trip. He found his mom beaten black and blue by my dear, gentle uncle because he wanted the key to get out for a "stroll" on the nearby highway.
He was placed in memory care a week later; my aunt dropped dead of a heart attack a few weeks later, most likely from the stress of his care.
Uncle lived quite happily for several more years in memory care.
Please take care of yourself, Fred.
Also, in the event it is indeed cognitive decline, please do not assume your adult children only into the caregiving role, especially if they are still working. Be open to other solutions. Make sure all your legal ducks are in a row, like assigning a PoA, creating a Advance Healthcare Directive, and making a Last Will. Consult with a financial advisor or estate planner to know where you're at with your resources.
This can all feel overwhelming so eat the elephant one bite at a time. Even if "just" stress is causing your symptoms, these legal protections need to be in place soon. Wishing you a "nothing burger" diagnosis :-)
Your doc will check you out. I hope you will update us. I am sorry you are going through this but relieved you will get tested.
DO share with the family and tell them what you will be reporting to Doc and ask if THEY have noticed anything that is worrying them in your communications with the,, that you should also report. They will be relieved you are addressing this and it will be a comfort to them you are so self-caring. And that you are keeping them in the loop. They will, if they are honest, ALREADY be worrying about the future and the uncertainties involved.
Caring for a dementia patient is not an easy job. Do you have daily help? Respite? Time to decompress and not just to do the grocery shopping?
I strongly suspect you are suffering from exhaustion and burnout, rather than dementia.
(((Hugs)))
Since then, I've alarmed the doors, plus keep them locked at all times. She no longer bothers to even try to open them.
Thanks again, all the best.
It's not unusual to temporarily forget a phone number when you have a lot on your mind, or are a stressed out caregiver. Or to freak out over losing a cell phone and scramble around looking for it, till you realize you're talking on it.
Good luck to you.