Silly question but what do you do about your parent's mail?

Are you able to physically collect their mail from one of the two residences easily? That would avoid the cost of renting a box. I would just try to be sure that they hold it for you rather than risk either parent dealing with it. I receive my mother's mail. She is in AL. We do not have debt issues so I feel it is fine for it to come to me. I deal with all her bills. Some institutions may insist it go to the parent but most are fine with my receiving it in care of.

If you are handling the finances have mail sent to a PObox. Hopefully, you have POA on both of them to do this. I would not have it sent to them.

baroness, I had all my parents mail forward to my own home address, bills and all. It just made life simpler for me. Relatives could still send cards directly to my Dad's facility. Mom, sadly was too far gone, so all her cards came to my house and I hand delivered them to Mom.

One time Dad would get his own mail, but once I found active bills and current statements in the wastebasket, I knew it was time for all mail to come to my home address.

Post office boxes can be a huge pain. My parents had one for about 40 years and when my parents could no longer drive, I use to go on my work lunch hour to gather their mail. "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". Nothing like driving in heavy snow only to find junk mail in their Post Office box !!

What is nice, you can do the initial transferring on-line for a small one time cost.

Have it delivered to your home. Just go to the post office and fill out a change of address card. Very easy and doesn't cost anything. Did this while mom was in a nursing home. She passed in June and I'm still getting her mail.

Their creditors CANNOT come after you PERIOD. EVEN if you were to become Guardianship/conservator for them. Creditors would have to wait in line of debt importance to SUE the Estate.
DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TALK YOU INTO STATE ASSISTANCE FOR NURSING CARE, DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TALK YOU INTO A REVERSE MORTGAGE ON PARENT'S HOME.
State "claims" they're helping you BUT once parents are gone STATE PLACES A LIEN ON THE HOUSE. YOU CANNOT SELL IT OR DO ANYTHING BECAUSE IT BELONGS TO THE STATE FOR REPAYMENT OF EVERY SINGLE PENNY THEY "HELPED" TO TAKE CARE OF PARENTS AND THEY GET PAID 1ST THEN THE CREDITORS.
REVERSE MORTGAGE IS BASICALLY THE SAME THING ONLY THE BANK WILL OWN IT.
You will be required to pay down every penny Mom/Dad worked their butts off for BEFORE THE STATE HELPS and IF they have a Will too bad so sad NOTHING!

Get their mail forwarded to your address. If they are competent have 1 of them place you on their account(s) as authorized POA OR have them go with you and move their funds into a POA or Guardian account. All you can do is pay their bills. You can't use for anything but them. Keep detailed records, receipts, cancelled checks FRONT/BACK.

You're going to be fine with their mail coming to you. BETTER that than someone taking it and using info to get credit cards etc.

Talk with an extremely well versed and experienced Family Law Attorney.

Dear baroness; Hi !! Let me tell you what we went through when my Auntie moved here from NY we started a p.o. box at a close Post office but some mail HAS TO GO TO THE FACILITY SHE LIVED IN!! What a royal mess all this was!! All the junk mail!!! Was un real I called like 54 catalogs to stop sending to my Alzheimer's Auntie some of them had been sendind 3 catalogs!! The women at the pist office knew me very well and were not happy at all with all Aunties JUNK MAIL!! when her mail came to the facility she lived in Auntie would get it and HIDE IT!!! ORshe would chase me around while I was working (she lived where i worked for 2 years) saying "this xray company never took an xray and they are charging me $250.00 dollars!! an xray only costs $10.00!! Yep auntie cornered me about her mail and said people were STEALING IT!! well I caught her going through other residents mail boxes...it was a stinking mess!! I just Cut off her getting ANY MAIL AT ALL!! SHE still will go around house takeing other people's mail shes so funny I say P.O .BOX put in a change of address and switch to pobox

I had my Mom's mail forwarded to my address. She was sending out a lot of money to various charities. I cancelled all that. Other than that her bills were pretty standard. Utilities etc. Once it was determined that she would no longer be coming home I cancelled all of them. Gave one months notice, cleared her apartment out and that was that.

Forward the mail to your address, that way you can go through it and give them anything that you think they will want to see. Also, I know this sounds rough but after they pass you can notify debtors that they are deceased. Mail them a copy of their death certificate.

There are NO silly question here! You could forward the mail to your home. You can arrange this online. I sent out change of address notices as well. I made the new address. Mrs Mom, c/o me , 21 main st etc. If you have POA you could put POA after your name. If you are not POA and there is no POA, get thee to a lawyer now. Things will only get more complicated from here on in. If you don't have POA it will be impossible to handle things for them legally. (If you are not POA then it would be technically illegal for you to direct their mail anywhere. Shhhh I won't tell on you!) If you have a concern you could always get a PO box, they are not too expensive. Have one box for both of them. For an extra fee the US post office will once per week put the contents of the PO box in a box and mail it to you. So nice of them. Delinquent bills? I have collection agencies calling, writing me because I have the same last nane as the person they are looking for. Good luck with all the details. Take care of yourself. Come back here for any other questions, we love to help!

Oh yes, I forgot to add that I was legally made P O A before anything else otherwise I would not have been able to pay my Mom's outstanding bills etc.

If you use the USPS forwarding service senders won't be informed of your parents' change of address. At least that's one thing not to worry about.

I recommend the PO Box. I have used one for years. When she passes, you just close out the box. Easy-peasy.

I had my mother's mailing address changed to mine. No point having stuff sent to the facility. Forwarding mail is only temporary so the best solution is to just change their mailing address to yours as it is permanent. Make a list of all the things you need to monitor and tackle it one at a time. Make sure your name is on the checking account so you can pay bills.

I have my mom's mail forwarded to me. I did this online. Mail can be forwarded for up to one year (I did it in 6 mos increments). There is a bit of delay in getting the mail, but otherwise it is working out well.

My mother isn't in that situation  - yet, but we may have to do something soon, since she's losing bills when they come to her home. I would likely forward her mail, or get a PO box when the time comes. For the concerns you raise, I wouldn't want creditors to have my address. But I also set up online banking for my mother, and I've already paid several bills with it, and haven't needed to write checks. Because Mom has a revocable trust, I can't be placed on her checking account, but frankly the online banking was a better solution anyway.

For now, I'd get a PO Box. You'll probably be a little inconvenienced, but making a trip there once or twice a week is probably worth preventing the stress and grief of your address being revealed, which it would if the mail was forwarded. You may be in for some hassle though in re to anything having to do with Social Security which may be sent to the old address or have to be changed to where they are unless you already have the authority to handle that. FOr instance Medicare...I already had a PO Box and added their names to the box, made easier because we share the same last name. But mom has dementia and switching the medicare address was going to be a major hassle. I lived in fear until just the other day knowing the new cards were coming. Dad had received his and I thought she must have and thrown it out or in the recycle bin or hidden it. By sheer luck when her purse was open I spotted it, and snatched it. As for the rest I just paid the bills, and checked the little box with "new address" and wrote in the PO BOX. One by one they were all switched over, some say so and so in C/O me.

If you have power of attorney for your parents' financial matters and are paying their bills, you should have the important mail forwarded to your own address (social security, medicare, bills, etc.). Make sure to close the utility bill accounts with the old apartment. I put in a change of address for the catalogs and magazines to my mother's new address in the assisted living facility. She enjoys looking at them.

People have a right to receive their own mail, unopened. This even applies if they are in a nursing home. The exception is if they are under a guardianship or have elected to have someone manage their affairs or are now no longer competent. If you are managing the financial affairs for your father-in-law under his authority you can get them forwarded to you. A PO box gives you some relief in reserving your autonomy.

That isn't a silly question at all. Forwarding to a local PO Box might be a great solution for you.

My husband was his mother's POA. When she became unable to handle her own affairs, we had her mail forwarded to us from the PO boxes she used. We changed addresses for the newspaper and magazine to have them sent straight to the nursing home. We directed friends and family to send personal mail to the nursing home too. Junk stuff we didn't inform of an address change, so when we close the PO boxes that will just disappear as far as we are concerned. Important things we changed to our home address. Sometimes that required sending a copy of the POA.

She recently passed but we haven't closed the boxes yet since we're still managing things.

It sounds like your parents need you to handle the delinquent bill situation for them. I don't mean pay with your own funds, but see about figuring out if the mess can be cleaned up. The reason we took over MIL's stuff is because we found out that she was spending money for various things instead of paying her bills. It took a few months to clean up the mess, but people were patient because we were actively working towards a solution and kept them in the loop, vs my MIL simply throwing bills away.

Baroness - I’m a big fan of having postal mailing boxes as an alternative address no matter what.
Once you have the new rental box address, you do a change of address on all Dec. bills and mail it with a minimum payment or like $10.00 ck from their existing checking account to all creditors. For bills that your in-laws are going to walk on (delinquent & not getting paid), I’d suggest you in addition to doing a change of address on Dec bill, you like in January send all their creditors a notification to close out their account, it comes from whomever is dpoa but make sure you only do this typed and as “John james Smith in my limited capacity as DPOA for Mr. Michael John Smith or Mrs Ann Jones Smith”, in the closing, Don’t ever do an actual signature. These all get mailed certified mail with the return registered card from a USPO. On the RRC, you put the rented mail box as the address the RRC postcard goes to. The duet is like $8.00 and it establishes that creditors are notified to close accounts and you have the RRC card that verifies this. Start a binder to keep their debt stuff in.

my experience on renting mail boxes....
- regarding renting a PO Box, in order to do so wherever..... USPO, UPS, etc. - it will require you or hubs to open it in your /his name as you have to give valid, current instate drivers license to get one. If MIL is still competent and cognitive she can go with you all to do this, so she & you or she & hubs rent it.
- I’ve found a USPO has become pretty tight about adding names / delivering mail onto/into a box unless there’s a name match up. BUT if it’s rented in the name of a valid business, you can add whatever names as receiving mail at that address.
- USPO box has to be at the station associated with your drivers
license zip code, which may or may not be optimum for you. BUT
- USPO in most places have 24/7 access to postal boxes, which might be ideal for you as your free time is Sunday afternoon.
- UPS stores usually have mail box rental. These are franchise stores so could possibly close or have to move as shopping center they are in decides to kick out tenants & put in condos. If mail requires a signature for delivery, some UPS stores will not allow employe to sign off on these. So that type of mail gets returned. When their creditors stop getting paid, they will send out signature required letters eventually.
- Pack & Ship type of stores often have postal mailing box rentals. If you have a college or university in your town, likely to be one nearby. These are usually privately owned single location with owner there and reliable staff. Personally I’d go this route as you can develop a relationship with the owner and they call you when something interesting comes in or box is super full. These will usually sign off on delivery received for mailings.
- I’ve found UPS and PacknShip shops are more ahem... flexible as to the name on the mail. It’s all about the post mail box #.

Unless you plan on going weekly like clockwork, rent a bigger box and just pay for a full year from the get go. If your delinquent in paying, they have to close it & cannot just hold mail till whenever.

If your in laws are going to walk on debt and you start getting dunning calls & Letters, do a new post as many of us have been thru this. My mil had lots of debt cause once she went onto LTC NH Medicaid all bills stopped being paid. Medicaid requires basically all their income paid to NH. So everything hit debt collections relentless cycle & recycle. You’ll be super glad there’s a box rented for them & their debt. So it lessens commingling their debt to your address / your credit report.

Well, the best way to know what is going on and convenience, is to have the mail forwarded to your address. Wherever you forward the mail, will not change the delinquency of any bill, nor resolve it. Best to address bills head on. Most of them will not go away unless the debtor deceases.

You can forward the mail to your mom’s facility.

Also suggest having the mail forwarded if your parents approve (as others have stated, they do have the right to their own mail). And you might want to sign up for Informed Delivery through the USPS.. it's free and allows you to see any actual mail being sent to their address (here's how it works: a photo is taken of the piece of mail and then emailed to you. It will also alert you if packages are scheduled to be delivered.) You can then track and make sure important documents are actually making it to you.

Find out more about it here: https://informeddelivery.usps.com

I don't suggest renting a mailbox at your town's post office. Here's why~My town's post office had a very bad fire almost a year ago. Despite major work, the post office has yet to reopen.

I've forwarded all of my father's mail to my house, and have used my address as his mailing address on government forms (state ID form, handicap placard applications, etc.), although I list the address of his memory care facility as his physical address. Change of address form at the post office is all you should need. Do you have power of attorney? If so, you should pay the delinquent bills with their checking account (and better yet, get yourself on the account--makes life much easier).

forward it to yourself, take it when you visit and that way you can keep track of what you have to keep track of. see, you knew the answer all the time. sometmes we have to trust our instincts, each case has different nuance.

Thanks for all the great responses. My parents are in an assisted living facility and mail is a big problem. They pile up the legitimate bills and then lose track of them, but send money to ALL the fundraising letters. I need a way to control this other than coming over weekly and going through all the piles of mail, which I do now. Thanks again for the great advice.

You are not personally responsible to pay their debt from your money, even if you are the guardian or have POA.

I just became legal guardian for my mom. When i met with Social Security to give them my Letter of Guardianship, i was told that any social security info would be mailed to her at the NH, as well as to me. Other than that, i have put in a change of address for her mail to come to me.

You could change only the address with important people directly (which may be required) and let the junk mail keep going to the old address.

gdaughter: Still worth sharing anyway.

I just changed my mother's address to my own.  The post office only will forward first class mail and magazines.  All junk mail was undeliverable.