I have the durable power of attorney for my dad who is 86 and has dementia and on Feb.12, 2020 my sister, brother, his wife, and my niece went to dad saying that they were gonna take him to lunch and never brought him back. Now I am told that my sister took him to Illinois to live with her. In January it was brought to my attention that my brother had not paid his rent on time in the past two years. The facility my dad was at my brother was the responsible party regarding my dad's rent. The facility told me they would have to call my brother nine to ten times a month to get them to pay the rent. So in January when I was told about the rent I did some research and found out that my brother and his wife spent my dad's retirement he had saved over many years and they are pushing for my dad to move to Illinois with my sister in hopes that nobody would find out the truth.
They are saying that I am the one who ripped my dad which is not true. Over the past 10 years I would stay away from my dad because my brother and his wife would take his items such as his house phone, cellphone, stop communication with my dad, tell my dad that they would leave him where these abandon buildings where and nobody would find him, or they would take him to the mountains so that other family members could not contact him for days at a time. My dad felt that my brother and his wife had spent his money remodeling their house, buying cars, and going on vacation trips so he want to change his will and the power of attorney. We did this on May 12, 2019. I had just reunited with my dad in April 2019 after my brother and his wife had me removed from my dad's place in October 2017. I didnt want to cause any undo stress on my dad so I stayed away.
My brother and his wife did their best to slander my name with regards to my dad. They havent had any contact with me before the October 2017 contact, since 2011 yet they claim to know so much about me. I didnt want my dad to have consequences for talking to me. So I stayed away. So we changed the POA and his will but my dad did not want brother or his wife to know that we changed the POA and I assumed that they were still paying the rent. During this time my brother and his wife felt the need to move my dad to another facility so that I wouldnt have contact with my dad. They have made sure that my dad has been isolated and deprived from the rest of the family, they being my brother, his wife, and my sister whom dad hadn't seen since 2011. So in January 2020 when it was brought to my attention I had arranged for my dad to pay $5000 and the following month we were going to pay the balance. That never happened, they came on Feb. 12 took my dad and never returned him. They then moved all of his belongings out of his apartment and told the staff that he was moving with my sister.
My dad told more than me that he did not want to move to Chicago that he was afraid he would die if he went. He told my brother and his wife multiple times he was not moving to Chicago. They took him to my brothers house I have since found out and refused to allow me to see him or talk to him on the phone. I am not sure if my sister was involved with the taking of my dad's money but she surely doesnt want to find out what the truth is and that leaves me to believe she was in on it also.
So: your DPOA dates from May last year? And for roughly ten years before that you had had almost nothing to do with him. You and he are reunited in April, he rewrites his will and his DPOA in May.
When was your father diagnosed with dementia?
And how long was he resident in the first ALF?
I don't want to be unkind to somebody who certainly seems to have given a very truthful account, to your great credit. But based on what you have told us I do not think you will get very far pursuing this.
If the local police department has an elder abuse department, you may be able to get charges placed against your brother based on the financial records.
2011 - some kind of major family dust-up. Communication breaks down among siblings; OP self-distances from father; IL sister's last known interaction with father.
2011-2017 - brother is given POA; family members at intervals disrupt father's ability to communicate freely; father alleges that family members have threatened father with consequences if father communicates with OP; at some point father is moved from his home into a facility; at some point father is diagnosed with dementia.
October 2017 - brother takes (presumably legal) steps to have OP removed from father's house. [The OP tells us that at this time she was still making it policy to stay away from her dad, so as not to cause him stress; so it isn't clear whose permission she had to live at Dad's house].
???? - 2017 - brother is paying ALF fees.
2017-2019 - OP still staying away from Dad.
April 2019 - OP and Dad reunited.
May 2019 - Dad makes a new will, gives DPOA to OP, and expects to keep this secret from brother.
After May 2019 - brother moves Dad to another facility to break Dad's contact with OP.
Jan 2020 - OP learns that the facility's [don't know which, or both?] fees have not been paid. OP learns that since 2018 facilities have been finding it a struggle to get timely payments out of brother. OP makes arrangements to pay outstanding balance; but the arrangements fall to the ground because...
Feb 2020 - Dad is taken out of the second facility to brother's house, and from there shipped out to sister's home in Chicago.
There are three siblings and one DIL playing an active part. OP is one, then brother + wife, and then IL sister who hasn't seen Dad since 2011.
There are six siblings altogether. It might be helpful to know what the remaining three have to say about the situation?
"Over the past 10 years I would stay away from my dad..."
In such a complicated and long drawn-out history I'm sure it is difficult to get the events in order and explain the family dynamic, of course. But now you correct my roughly-sketched timeline saying that you distanced yourself from him from 2017-2019, and it was your sister who has been absent from his life for ten years. Well - that isn't me misunderstanding, is it? That's me relying simply on what you said.
I agree 100% with TNTechie that complaints of abuse made by an individual and reported must be investigated regardless of his mental state. Were your father's complaints reported and investigated?
To take any effective steps you are going to need professional help of some sort, come what may. What I suggest is that you do your own timeline. Go back to the beginning, list the factual events year by year, and then you'll have a coherent account to take to APS, to a lawyer, to a counsellor - to someone who can give you practical guidance.
I'm very sorry to read that you were a victim of crime, and very sorry that your family has lost your three siblings. I hope you do find support which will help you resolve at least some of the issues you're facing.
In TN, we are not required to register or acknowledge POA documents or file wills until they need to be used. Probably keeps down on a lot of redundant paperwork, but it also opens the door for some interesting exchanges. I sat waiting my turn while an estate was being settled. Apparently the principal had signed whatever will was placed in front of him by his various children and grandchildren over the last year of his life - 14 different wills in just under one calendar year!