Dear fellow caregivers, my mother is under care of hospice and could pass any day now. I have tried planning steps to take but I am totally unprepared. I am widowed living on SS that is under 2000.00 a month. I will not be able to pay the rent after she has passed. I have 0 assets and barely enough to bury her. Moreover I have 5 rooms of furniture but cannot afford housing in my area. I have researched several senior living facilities and many of you already know there's a long waiting list and most independent senior units have already been rented out. My only options are living with my son (sleeping on his couch) or living with another relative who already has several people living in his home. I am lost trying to think of ways to solve my circumstances. I have enough to deal with daily just caring for my mother and making her comfortable. Any common sense advice is welcome. God bless you all caring for loved ones.
Try sharing your predicament with the social worker from hospice as she may have resources for you. I can only imagine that others have found themselves in similar circumstances.
If you belong to a church, try reaching out to the priest, pastor or minister as the church community may be able to help somehow.
In addition, I have heard that in some states and areas rent is being deferred due to the pandemic. I’m sorry that I don’t know the details, but maybe you would qualify.
Have you considered bringing in a roommate to contribute to the rent? Possibly one of the several people you mentioned that currently live in your relative’s home? Maybe one would like to move out of that congested living arrangement and move in with you?
Best wishes to you at this difficult time.
See if you can find a roommate thru the local church or senior center or ask hospice for resources. Also ask friends and have your son put the word out as well.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything that's going on.
https://www.cceva.org
Their website says: "If you are experiencing a housing crisis, please call the regional housing crisis hotline at 757-587-4202, or Toll Free at 866-750-4431. The Housing Crisis Hotline is the region’s starting point for anyone who is experiencing a housing crisis and in need of shelter, case management, and related services."
Right now though, just try to enjoy whatever time you have left with your mom, as that is most important. Things will all work out, as they should. Please don't forget that God has everything under control. God bless you for taking care of your mom until the end.
You will not have to leave the home at once. The funeral should be down to a cremation as that is likely what you can afford.
Did you leave a job to care for Mom and sell a home of your own? Often forum sees people who leave jobs and homes to care for elders end just here, jobless without a history of working and homeless.
I can't think of a way to help you other than to wait and see what assets you may have on Mom's passing if she owned her home; she may not have as you say you cannot pay the rent. You don't mention your age. I would suggest you call your area Agency on Aging. Look it up online. Tell them your circumstances, and your Mom's, and ask for any help or guidance they may be able to give you.
Ask Hospice for guidance on any Funeral Services that are very low cost in your area. Explain your circumstances to them. They have counsel, clergy, social workers, and I suggest you access any and all for help now, and guidance about what best to try in your own area.
I am so sorry. You must feel very desperate.
Also, in Maryland we have a organization called Catholic Charities (you don't have to be catholic) who provide independent living facilities for low income folks - the rent is based on your income. I would try reaching out to a faithbased organization versus a government based. I had so much more success when I went through this with my mom. So sorry you're having to deal with losing your mom and your housing at the same time. God Bless you.
Episcopal Place, for instance, charges a flat rate of 1/3 of your income, no matter what it is. These are small, one BR apartments with a living room, kitchen, and bath but no nursing facilities.
Definitely look into cremation because it is much, much less expensive than burial. Does your mother have any life insurance that could pay some of the expenses? Your mother's Social Security benefits will pay a couple of hundred dollars, which is not enough but it helps.
Those five rooms of furniture are actually an asset. Start going through things to see what you can sell fast to get funds. Try sites such as Facebook Marketplace for a quick sale. Put whatever is left into a storage room and stay with a friend or relative until you figure out the best course of action.
Good luck to you. I know it seems overwhelming right now, but it won't last forever. You can do this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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